I’m a 20F and my best friend is 21F. We’ve been friends for about two years, but I’m seriously considering cutting off contact because I feel completely drained and exhausted by this friendship.
For context, we met through work. At first, I thought we had a lot in common and we clicked quickly. Over time though, I realized she isn’t a very healthy person to be around—and honestly, I don’t like who I become when I’m with her. I’ve changed a lot over the last couple of years: I’ve overcome many fears, become more extroverted, and my priorities shifted. Meanwhile, our friendship stayed stuck in the same place. We mostly hang out one-on-one.
Things really started going downhill on our first vacation together. I realized she’s extremely moody and unpredictable. I felt like I was constantly walking on eggshells, trying not to upset her. I tolerated it at first because she was having serious boyfriend issues. She later cheated on him, got back together with him, and I ended up emotionally carrying her through months of crises.
That’s when the resentment started. I didn’t leave because I felt guilty—like abandoning her would make me a bad person. But instead of things improving, she became more negative and draining, with no real effort to change. I also started noticing how dependent she is on me for attention. She doesn’t really have hobbies outside of partying and going out to eat, which honestly just made me feel even more suffocated.
Last month was my breaking point. We were at a festival with over 20,000 people, and she left me alone to make out with some guy. On our most recent vacation, the same thing happened: the guy left her, and she dumped all her emotions on me nonstop, completely ruining the trip.
I’m mentally done. I can’t keep doing this. At the same time, I feel awful because I know she isn’t a bad person, and I do believe she cares about me. But I’ve given her so many chances, and I genuinely don’t think anything will change.
So… what do you think? Is cutting her off justified, or am I being too harsh?
TL;DR:
I (20F) want to cut off my best friend (21F) of two years because the friendship completely drains me. She’s emotionally unstable, negative, and heavily dependent on me, and I feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells or acting as her emotional support system. Despite giving her many chances, nothing changes, and multiple trips and events were ruined because of her behavior. I feel guilty because she isn’t a bad person and does care about me, but I can’t mentally handle this friendship anymore and don’t see another solution.