Let me preface this by saying he's a lovely guy.
My family love him, we have had a great 3 years together and I hope that we can be together forever. We talk about marriage and kids. I'm so proud of the man he is and has become.
That being said we have been together for 3 years and living together for 1 year, we are currently buying a house, and afterwards, plan to get married.
He works like no tomorrow,12 hour days, 6 days a week usually, ( he's a builder )and on his days off he uses this time to do laundry, get a haircut, and come grocery shopping with me. He sometimes makes comments that because I'm not drowning in work like him, I have too much time to complain and stress about things I shouldn't be stressing about.
An example of this would be the lack of sex we have, usually 4 times a month. I explain that would like to have it more, or perhaps dress up for him but that comes with rejection because he's too stressed or has to much to think about. And has made comets about me being an "addict" , my emotional needs are not being met therefore would enjoy for my sexual needs to be met. It seems like neither are a priority to him. When I do bring this up, he says " we are buying a house that needs tones of work so I need to plan and work my ass off so that this can be done, I promise once this is done, we can go on holidays and enjoy ourselves" I honestly feel like he's trying to sell me dreams.
I've asked for quality time, he is busy, and when hes home, hes on the phone to his cousins, sister, friends and then doom scrolls. Ive explained what quality time looks like for me ( watching movies together, talking, going on a walk, going for coffee ) those kind of things but hes not made an effort to do them.
The conversations are ALWAYS about the house and about work, rarely ever about family, future plans or about our relationship. its always either politics or work. No depth.
His response is always "jokey" when I bring these issues up, " i love you more than anything baaaaaabe, how could you say these things" always in a laughy tone.
WHAT DO I DO
TL;DR –
My bf always tries to lighten the mood when we are facing issues within our relationship and never gives me any depth in his answers or even tries to understand me. I love him but its breaking me.