I am an early 30s male who lives in a small city. Over the past two years as I’ve been actively dating I haven’t met a single woman who I got along with that wanted kids.
When I started dating, I had the goal of finding someone to start a small family with. But after being with a few different women, and running into the kids problem, I’ve been wondering if I should give that up. A few of my breakups have been because the woman didn’t ever want a family (other breakups were them just wanting something casual for a short while). Out of the 7 or 8 women I’ve been with over the last two years, none wanted children. It might not help that some of the woman I have dated have been close to 40, so they had already made their family planning choices. I know 7 or 8 isn’t a big number, but it really feels like a trend with the kind of personality types I’m attracted to (very liberal/progressive women who are artists).
Even when I ask my single or partnered woman friends if they want kids they say no (my guy friends usually say they’re open to children or want them). None of my coupled friends say they want to start a family together.
So I’ve been wondering: What if I meet a really great woman, but she doesn’t want kids? Would I give that up for her? I’ve been very unsure because I wasn’t expecting to have this problem when I started dating again. Obviously not everyone wants a family, but so far I’m 0 for 8.
I’d be curious if anyone else has had this issue, and if you compromised or gave up wanting children because you couldn’t find anyone that wanted a family.
(NOTE: I meet women via friends or in public. I do not use the apps. I know I can do something like Hinge and filter out “does not want children,” but I really don’t like how the apps hurt my self esteem and mental health).