I [M21] broke up with my first serious girlfriend [F20] over a year and a half ago. I have dated other girls since then, but anytime I’m not actively in a relationship I cannot stop thinking about my first serious ex.
We had a rocky breakup. I ended up walking away from it with endless thoughts of “what if”. I still think about the what ifs today, and they take up more space in my mind than what I am comfortable with.
I understand the biological side of why I still think about her. I know that the brain is hardwired to remember, and even long for, your first partner as a safely net so that you wish to reproduce. I don’t know more than the basic biological reason for it but that much makes sense to me.
However, I have given it plenty of time, seen other people, and followed all of the “instructions” for how to move on from someone, and still find myself thinking about her way more than what would be normal for someone else in my position. It affects my day to day life, even if mildly.
What I need advice on is if I should reach out to her or not. The thought has been rolling around in my head for some time and I see both positives and negatives from the idea.
Has anyone been in a similar situation as I am currently in? What did you do, and what was your experience?
TL;DR I [M21] cannot move on from my first serious girlfriend [F20] from a year and a half ago and need advice