I 28F have been dating my boyfriend 30M for almost 1 year. He’s kind, hardworking, and my best friend. We talk seriously about a future together (marriage, home, kids), which is why this feels hard.
He’s a season ticket holder for a football team six states away and rarely misses a home game. He travels multiple weekends a month (usually Fri–Mon), and even when he’s home, weekends often still revolve around football (college, fantasy, NFL). Lately, I feel like the relationship comes second.
For context, I also travel for work about once a month for 5 days, so I understand busy schedules. I respect his love for football, but I don’t think I can build a life with someone whose lifestyle looks like this long-term. I’ve communicated this many times…sometimes calmly, sometimes in arguments. He understands, and while he makes an effort when he’s home, it often feels like spending time together is treated as a bonus rather than a priority.
Tonight, his team won and has an out-of-state playoff game next weekend. He immediately bought tickets. If they win again, there’s likely another game the following weekend. I’ll be traveling for work both of those weeks, and the following week he’ll be gone for work, so our time together this month is extremely limited.
His decision came just 24 hours after we had a serious conversation about priorities.
When I found out, I felt sad and numb and withdrew. He later admitted he knew I was upset because he’s traveling again after we had just talked about this.
I don’t hate football, I’m actually a fan and have gone to games with him. I’m not trying to control his hobbies or his free time at all. I just want to feel like a priority and have a partner who shows up without being asked.
I'm just not sure if this relationship is going to work. What would you do if you were me? Am I being unreasonable?
TL;DR: my boyfriend chooses to spend weekends away from me after I've expressed how much it hurts me