**TL;DR:** Two years ago, I asked my family to organize my birthday. I received thoughtless gifts, an empty table, and complete indifference. It was the last straw. Now I'm hurt, don't want to celebrate, and don't know how to cope.
I need help.
My family consists of me (40), my husband (44), a son (18), and a daughter (16).
I am usually the one responsible for all holidays and gifts. I try hard… I buy thoughtful gifts, cook their favorite dishes. I do everything I can for them. We go on small trips if the birthday person wants that, or celebrate at home. Again, depending on what the birthday person wants.
Two years ago, I asked for the same for myself.
I said in advance what I wanted as a gift. They were inexpensive gifts, but they needed to be ordered ahead of time. I helped plan the menu. I wanted to spend the evening with close family and for it to be organized without my direct involvement. In the end, instead of a gift, I received a bad knockoff that can be bought on every corner. The table was empty; I had to go and sort something out and decorate so it would at least somewhat resemble a festive one. We hadn't even finished dinner when the children said they were bored and wanted to leave for their own things. My husband didn't stop them.
I felt very hurt. That holiday became the straw that broke the camel's back.
It was painful. I cried. The children quickly understood everything and came to apologize. But that doesn't help me.
Last year, I refused to celebrate my birthday. In a few days, it will be "that day" again.
My husband asks how I would like to spend it, and even his question hurts me. I don't want anything.
I need advice. How can I start to accept my birthday normally again?
Maybe someone has faced something similar and found a way out?
I would be grateful for your advice.
I apologize. English is not my native language. I asked AI to edit it