I’m 24F. I lost my virginity at 21, after 1.5 years of trying with my ex bf (everything hurt before, my gynac told me it was vaginismus and I practiced a ton with dilators and just relaxing myself overall). Once I was able to have pain free sex, it was great – but only with my ex bf. After that I had sex with several different men, and 90% of the time it felt good for only the first couple minutes and after that I would just wait for it to be over. Several times if it went longer than 6-7 minutes I would just stop them and cut it all short.
What doesn’t help is that most positions feel like they’re going to make me poop and that just adds to my anxiety overall. My last sexual experience was a year ago now, and I am really trying to get back into casual dating and sex but just keep ghosting guys when it gets to a more intimate stage because I can’t get myself to do it. Additionally, I moved countries so there’s a whole new cultural angle where sleeping with someone from a different ethnicity stresses me out and im scared they’ll judge me and my failure (?) at having sex.
Any advice on explaining this to someone I meet off the apps or in dealing with the anxiety overall?