relationship length: 0months
i went to a new year’s eve house party a few days ago. lots of people, music, alcohol, people coming and going, very little sleep. i almost didn’t go, but i’m really glad i did.
i(30M) met her(27F) there for the first time. from the start, she felt very calm and genuine. she’s a nursery teacher, a bit shy, and really warm once she feels comfortable. we ended up spending a lot of time talking one on one, sitting close on a sofa, just being present with each other. it didn’t feel performative or rushed, it just felt easy.
there was a moment where i went to the toilet and when i came back, other people had sat next to her so i sat somewhere else. as soon as they left, she whispered for me to come sit next to her again. that small moment stuck with me more than anything else.
i asked if we could hug and we did, and it felt intimate in a quiet way. later, while we were still sitting together, i said i was cold and she lent me her fleece jacket without making it a big thing. she also mentioned that she was a bit worried that substances might be heightening how intense things felt, i actually appreciated her saying that in the moment, it felt thoughtful rather than distancing.
when we left and walked toward the station, it was really cold and windy, so i suggested holding hands. she interlocked her fingers with mine. the final goodbye hug at the station was warm and close.
there were also these very human, slightly silly moments that made her feel real to me. she showed me an old insurance card photo from when she was a teenager and laughed about it. there was a small moment in a dj set that i was playing, just a short section, where we both kind of paused at the same time. i don’t think i’ve ever shared that exact feeling with someone before. she reacted with genuine interest when i talked about music and made a connection between chicago house and jazz. she smiled shyly when i complimented her. nothing dramatic, just gentle.
when i followed up later, i tried to keep things low pressure. she replied warmly, said she enjoyed talking to me, and was open to meeting again. later she told me she’d caught a bit of a cold and needed the rest of the weekend to herself before work, but added that we can stay in contact. i told her i understood and wished her rest.
what’s been staying with me isn’t “will this turn into something big”. it’s how carefully she treated the connection. she didn’t disappear, didn’t rush, didn’t dramatise anything. she set boundaries with kindness. that combination feels rare.
i know some of what i’m feeling is probably amplified by the context, the night, the lack of sleep, the substances. i’m not trying to turn this into destiny or certainty. i just keep thinking about how safe and gentle it felt, and how much i appreciated being met with care rather than intensity.
even if nothing comes of it, i’m really glad i went to that party. it reminded me that connections like this can still happen, slowly and respectfully, without pressure.
tl;dr:
went to a new year’s eve party, met a calm, genuine, shy-but-warm woman. spent hours talking, sharing small moments, hugs, holding hands, and laughing over little things. followed up later, she’s warm, thoughtful, and set kind boundaries. even if nothing comes of it, it felt safe, gentle and rare and i’m really glad i went.