Please don’t judge, I know this might sound fucked up and honestly stupid. Hopefully, someone can talk some sense into me. Anyway, I met my boyfriend at 18 and we were both skinny. He was 6’4 150lbs. . I was 5’8 and 150lbs. At the time, I didn’t care about how skinny he was, it wasn’t a big deal to me. Eventually, he gained weight throughout our relationship getting up to like 215lbs. I’m now about 155-160lbs. I admit it feels great to have him be bigger than me now.
I have loved this extra weight on him, he has looked so manly and just great. I loved it.. A LOT. Also this is my first boyfriend, first time, first everything. I didn’t know I’d love that look so much. Just him with the muscles and pecs the vline drove me crazy!!
The problem is that he has been losing weight/muscle within the past 7 months. I know he’s a naturally skinny guy and loses weight fast without even trying. It took a lot of work to gain and maintain. If he doesn’t want to do that anymore, I can understand. I just don’t feel as attracted to that skinny look anymore. I don’t wanna go backwards..but I am prepared to. How do I move forward in this relationship while feeling this way? I would never want to tell him any of this, it just feels wrong. I’m actually ashamed. I feel like I’m thirsting over a version of my boyfriend that doesn’t exist anymore. And I’m definitely not going to tell him what type of relationship he should have with his own body and health.
Has anyone experienced this before? I only hear about men wanting their gfs to lose weight and they’re usually assholes about it. I’m not trying to be that, I just know I miss that body already. I’m still attracted to him, just not as much.. I can’t help but feel guilty.
Okay confession over..