32F married for 5 years & dated for 4 years before that, mostly long distance.
The fights we have all about is how lonely I feel in this marriage, he is always on phone , he is not cheating but he is not connecting with me emotionally, I have to intiate every serious discuss like future plan , kids etc.
Whenever we go out he would include our family or friends. When they are around he behaves very attentive. After so many fights we went couple of vacations alone where he was like it would have been so much fun to visit with friends.
And last 9 year ( including dating era) he never complemented me for anything. When i fish for complement he just agrees with me.
I have brought up this multiple time , that my love language is words of affirmation but he never follows through.
He does routine duty doesnt help me with cooking unless i specially assign task that too he does only when he feels like.
I think i have to add that we are Indians to understand the context and culture.
I consider my self open minded woman , I-have been in-therapy for 2 years. The most hurtful Think is when I cry my husband doesn’t console me he just shuts out and behaves like nothing happened.
Lack of emotional connection also directly affects sex life, no communication there as well.
I Feel like used when there is no emotional connect which he doesn’t understand.
I have asked him to attend couples therapy at least which he is reluctant of till now. I have cptsd which from childhood trauma and my husband behaviour triggers my abandonment issues.
Please help me with your advices as i feel stuck.
TLDR # emotionally unavailable husband, not accepting any professional help, need advice on how to move forward.
Thank you