I have been dating a 36-year-old man for over a month now. Due to the distance and our respective lives, we typically see each other once a week for an overnight stay, usually spending most of the following day together. During this time, we have sex about 4-5 times.
Occasionally, he asks me if I noticed a difference in the hardness of his penis. He might mention that it wasn't "100% hard" this time and wants to know if I could tell the difference. Honestly, I never know how to answer this question because I genuinely don't perceive a difference between 100% and 85% firmness – especially since he's well-endowed enough that, in any state, he is a 10/10 for me.
A few times, when I was on top during a subsequent round, his erection became soft. I'm slightly unsure what to make of this, as I know he enjoys it when I'm on top, and yet, it's the only position where this happens. It has made me wonder if I'm doing something wrong, or perhaps if it's a form of performance anxiety on his part when he feels the erection is not hard enough (according to his own standards).
This leads to my question for the men here: Do you also see/feel a difference in how hard your penis is during intercourse? What factors (besides the subsequent rounds, like 2nd, 3rd, etc.) might influence why it doesn't feel "hard enough" for you? Are you always satisfied with your erection?