This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.
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22 comments
Being silly silly. Going to bed and daydreaming about his sweet cuddles and silly ways.
Today, the Sunday after the new year begins, is apparently deemed “Dating Sunday” because that’s when most people restart or get on the apps. So… happy dating Sunday to all who celebrate(?)! Lol
Would any women mind taking a look at my dating profile?
Ideally I’d like to put my best foot forward here in the new year.
Anyone met a partner or had a relationship from someone they met on Reddit?
i *hate* “if he wanted to he would” it just makes me more anxious and upset LOL
Dating Sunday is in full swing on Hinge. I’m going in, folks. My profile is revamped, my playlist has the right mix of upbeat and chill, and I’ve taken a refreshing blend of vitamins and electrolytes. If you don’t hear from me within six hours, send the rescue cats
I give up.
Help. I don’t drink, smoke, or dance. I’m into running, muay thai, hiking, anime, and travel. I live in LA county and still struggle to meet people. Where should I be going to meet nice guys in their 30s.
Had my first date with this woman I met on New Years. Took her to my favorite cocktail bar. My ex was sitting in the corner of the bar, right next to where my date was sitting waiting for me. Lead to some immediate drama, but my date took it extremely well, even though I was highly embarrassed.
Date went well regardless & I left her apartment this morning. I can’t wait to see her again.
In 2026, I will get aggressive with the asking out. No more looking for a “right moment”
If I enjoy the conversation and looks, I will shoot my shot immediately.
If I know we will be seeing each other in the same space once in a while, I will shoot my shot after making sure they’re not dating someone else who also goes here.
Well after 4 months it’s over. Got through the holidays at least. My will to date or want to date is dead. I’d rather put a cigarette out on my arm.
How many dates go by before you bring up the idea of a relationship with someone?
I hear this is the best day of the year to be active on the apps….the last guy I dated ended up fizzling out over the holidays. Giving the apps January to see what happens….and then I might be dating offline. (Open to any/all suggestions on where girls are meeting high quality men offline)
Ah the sad reality of having a crush on a friend that doesn’t show any signs of feeling slightly the same.
And that no win choice of either talking to them like “a grown up” because it has been too long, and making it all weird, or keeping it silent as you did now and hope based on nothing that this will fade away.
I went on a date a week ago, dude kissed me and I just crashed after from the sadness. And going back to the apps and seeing how guys come talk to you and are willing to make things happen also elevates the sense of rejection?
It has been 3 months of him saying he wasn’t in the mind space for dating (I asked him on a date when we met), becoming friends, then crushing, getting confused with mixed signs, realizing I might have read them wrong, then thinking what to do.
How to smother a crush folks?
I increased my dating radius by 10 miles and not a single new profile showed up.
Follow up question from my comment in here yesterday: Is it really that unusual for a woman to wait 2 months before having sex with a man she met online?
Hi everyone. I’m looking for some outside perspective because I feel stuck and confused.
My partner (M35) and I (F32) have been together for 2 years. Early December we had a very intense fight. I take responsibility for my part in it and apologized because I acted in abusive way (vocaly, not physical). Since then, things never really stabilized – but there was also never a clear breakup.
Instead, we’ve been in this long in-between state.
He says he misses me and the good times and would *like* things to work, but at the same time says being with me scares him now and that he doesn’t see a concrete plan beyond “good will.” He’s been very depressed, burned out, and anxious, and says he doesn’t have emotional capacity to decide anything.
Communication is inconsistent: we’ll have deep, vulnerable conversations, then he’ll go quiet for days. He hasn’t clearly said “we’re broken up,” but he also hasn’t chosen to try again. I’ve asked for clarity multiple times, and he says he’s lost and unable to decide.
From my side, I’ve reflected a lot, committed to working on myself (therapy, sobriety, boundaries), and tried to give him space without disappearing. But the ambiguity is really affecting my mental health, and I feel like I’m carrying most of the emotional weight while waiting for him to choose.
What’s especially confusing is that he still reaches out, asks how I am, and shares his struggles. At one point he said something like, *“This is the first time someone doesn’t leave me when I am like this”* which made me feel important – but also like emotional support rather than a chosen partner. He has also told friends things that sound like we’ve already broken up.
Right now we’re still in contact, but there’s no clear agreement about whether we’re together or not.
My questions:
* Is there some possible action plan to reconnect?
* At what point does “giving someone time” become self-abandonment?
**TLDR:** Had a major fight with my partner in early December. Since then, no clear breakup but no reconciliation either. He says he misses me and would like it to work, but is scared, depressed, and unable to decide. Communication is inconsistent and the ambiguity is hurting me.
Any perspective would really help. Thank you.
I need to be de-influenced. I’ve worked on moving slower and being more understanding, curious and patient, and it seems to have gotten me into many more situation-ships over the last year. I tolerate long periods of time inbetween dates, poor texting, bad planning, inability to visit (LDR) – all in the name of being a little less dependent.
Well shit, yall. My married friends go to the gym together every day, spend nearly every waking minute together. Two of my friends moved in together after six months of dating and have been together for years. Is it so wrong to want to have a date every 3-4 days early on if you both like each other? What’s wrong with closeness? Intimacy? Clingy? Obviously when you don’t know someone very well, discretion is important, but IG dating influencers say I can only date a man who takes me to dinner once a week and it’s ok if he doesn’t text me every day. Who wants this? Who does this benefit?
I know she was probably just doing her job, but I should’ve asked for her number anyway…
It’s the second time I’ve met her and twice I’ve felt some positive vibes from our short conversation.
I kind of hate the whole “I’m not in a headspace to date right now” because like even though I intellectually know that it just means “I’m not into you” there is still a part of my brain that just does not get the message and needs to be told that very directly or else it will still hang on to that shred of hope that maybe they will be in the headspace someday and it was really just a matter of timing and not that I was not attractive to them
Also annoying: consistently being told I’m cool/fun/interesting/funny but they aren’t interested in dating me. The message I get is basically that I’m not hot enough. I’m trying to work on that but I don’t know how. When I try to talk to friends/family/therapists about it I’m just told that I am attractive enough and it shouldn’t be an issue. But obviously, it is. I feel like people have a vague sense that something isn’t feminine or “pretty” about me but can’t pinpoint why (and neither can I) so then I end up just… Dealing with the rejection I guess.
I know the sentiment typically is, “when you want to leave, you can and should.” or, “every thing is up to you; there is no one-size-fits-all.
but I’m so curious of other stories on the following:
my gf of 9 months is awesome in many ways. funny, super attractive, makes my sometimes-crazy-self feel calm when I begin spiraling, we align on core values (kids, family), she is learning about money and engaged in getting better.
all that aside, one thing drives my body crazy at times:
she does not lead with emotionality. her default framework of life is sequential, and very logic based.
meanwhile, I feel deep connection when I VERBALLY discuss how we feel (I’m a dude btw). she will often give me a list of what her days might look like, and when I ask “are you excited about that? how does that all feel?” she will just say, “good!” and that’s it.
or if I’m sad about something, I’ll try opening up . but she won’t ask questions. just straight reassurances . “it’s ok you feel that way, babe.” or she will be very quiet, but just come hug me.
when that happens, my body almost goes into anxiety mode cause I genuinely am grateful she is showing care / love in the way she knows how, but feel super disconnected because she can not meet me emotionally .
weve talked about it as well, many times. but the truth is, she just isn’t built that way.
im curious if others have encountered anything like this