For several years now, I’ve been going through the same relationship pattern: at the beginning, they are crazy about me, everything is rosy, full of future plans, and they are understanding about everything. After some time (a few months), everything changes. My partners start getting upset over anything, without being open to discussion (and if they are, they only escalate things, accuse me, and insist on being the winner). Who is right becomes the most important thing, and small punishments (refusing to eat, staying in another room, etc.) become the norm.
I’ve often bowed my head, made myself small to give them space to express themselves, hoping they would realize these are just trivial things and that love and respect matter more. I try to talk as respectfully and gently as possible, but no matter how small they are, these passive-aggressive gestures deeply affect me and hurt me most of the time. I feel hate instead of love…
And I come to ask you: How can I help him to see that these behaviors hurt him, me, and us? We have 3 months of relationship.
Has anyone here gone through something similar? If so, what did you do? Were you able to change anything? I’m tired of starting over, at least for now.