Hi, I’m M40, married. Still figuring things out.
There’s a moment I often mess up.
My wife says something emotional. I feel attacked.
I react fast. She reacts harder.
And suddenly, the problem is not the problem anymore.
So I tried something small.
I made up a simple word to slow myself down: SELAH.
It’s not a method. Just a reminder I use in real moments.
S – Stop reacting
E – Empathize
L – Listen first
A – Acknowledge the feeling
H – Hold my ground calmly
It doesn’t fix everything. But sometimes, it stops things from blowing up.
Men: have you tried something like this?
Women: what would actually help you in that moment?