What’s something someone does early in dating that instantly makes you feel positive about them?
January 2, 2026
What’s something someone does early in dating that instantly makes you feel positive about them?
30 comments
[removed]
Authenticity; where you can tell off the bat after getting to know them they know themselves, have optimism, passion for life and are quite introspective!
Enthusiasm for seeing me, actively engaging with making plans, initiating conversations.
Remembers something I said from a previous conversation or date.
Communicate. Id rather them ask a million questions and double check things than leave things to be guessed about
As bare minimum as it sounds .. being given compliments that aren’t only about my looks or by body.
“You’re very smart”
“I love your sense of humor”
“You’re so creative” … Often just hits differently vs “uR hOt!”
They have a cat/cats and treat them well… cats are the women of pets
That feeling of being fully present with you
Being proactive. I appreciate you asking for my opinion, and I appreciate even more when someone takes charge.
They take a real interest in getting to know, communicate well and do things when they say they’re gonna do them. When they show action rather than words
Trusting me with a major secret or important event in their life. A couple weeks into dating my now husband got very real with some of the demons and dramas of his life and I was so grateful because it made me feel like I could trust him because he could trust me.
Consideration and kindness.
When they text me and send me voice messages enthusiastically and not only sporadically. When they keep up with what they say and when they actually listen to what I say and remember it 🥰❤️
When he is curious about me and remembers little things.
I’m not really down for small talk, I meant a little bit. But if someone can talk to me about life and is reflective, is really honest with me and shows me their vulnerabilities early on….100% more attracted to them.
Wants to take care of me. Genuinely. A small detail like asking if I am hungry or feel ok to go to x place etc whatever that shows they care for your safety / comfort / health. So cute. ☺️
Putting their phone away on the date. That’s less than the bare minimum but I’ve had more than one date messaging other women through the dating app right in front of me.
From my wife:
Before we had sex for the first time, we were making out, and I asked if she wanted to go to the bedroom. She said she’d rather not, and because I’m not trying to push someone into doing something they don’t want to, I was like “okay! No problem!” And we finished our movie
Apparently that scored a lot of points
Being self-reflective with a growth mindset is a fuck yes to me
Being present. Actively listening, eye contact. It’s sexy. Or am I just asking for bare minimum here 😂
Consistency.
Just normal communication – no love bombing and simply replying to texts within a normal timeframe.
No sexual questions early on- and by that ifykyk. For some reason, these are the only types I see around alot, so even this bare minimum seems too sweet honestly atp
He is consistent. If he says “I will date you on Wednesday” it is because he will date me on Wednesday. 🙂
As simple as it sounds, asking questions about us and being curious about our lives.
Words and actions aligning.
Conversational skills. It’s amazing how many men don’t know that you need to ask questions on dates.
Understands what I do for safety and is cool with it: lets me check in with friends with no fuss, doesn’t push alcohol on me, meets in public places, doesn’t insist on driving, doesn’t try to get me back to his place (or mine), lets me set the pace as far as touching is concerned, *obviously* doesn’t joke about hurting or raping or killing me, and gives me truthful answers about his identity.
They treat other people with kindness, especially people who they don’t have to be kind to/have no incentive to be.
Taking initiative in things like planning dates and also being kind to people other than me. It tells me they’re a genuinely kind person and not just being nice because they’re interested in me
A weird one I have is being kind to my stuffed animals. I have a few that are extremely sentimental from early childhood that I still sleep with at night (yes yes very immature etc.. i have more important battles than breaking a stuffed animal dependence so I dont bother). I told my current partner that my stuffed animals are special to me, and even while we were still friends and not dating yet, he took extra care to not throw them around or sit on them. its a really good sign for me.
30 comments
[removed]
Authenticity; where you can tell off the bat after getting to know them they know themselves, have optimism, passion for life and are quite introspective!
Enthusiasm for seeing me, actively engaging with making plans, initiating conversations.
Remembers something I said from a previous conversation or date.
Communicate. Id rather them ask a million questions and double check things than leave things to be guessed about
As bare minimum as it sounds .. being given compliments that aren’t only about my looks or by body.
“You’re very smart”
“I love your sense of humor”
“You’re so creative” … Often just hits differently vs “uR hOt!”
They have a cat/cats and treat them well… cats are the women of pets
That feeling of being fully present with you
Being proactive. I appreciate you asking for my opinion, and I appreciate even more when someone takes charge.
They take a real interest in getting to know, communicate well and do things when they say they’re gonna do them. When they show action rather than words
Trusting me with a major secret or important event in their life. A couple weeks into dating my now husband got very real with some of the demons and dramas of his life and I was so grateful because it made me feel like I could trust him because he could trust me.
Consideration and kindness.
When they text me and send me voice messages enthusiastically and not only sporadically. When they keep up with what they say and when they actually listen to what I say and remember it 🥰❤️
When he is curious about me and remembers little things.
I’m not really down for small talk, I meant a little bit. But if someone can talk to me about life and is reflective, is really honest with me and shows me their vulnerabilities early on….100% more attracted to them.
Wants to take care of me. Genuinely. A small detail like asking if I am hungry or feel ok to go to x place etc whatever that shows they care for your safety / comfort / health. So cute. ☺️
Putting their phone away on the date. That’s less than the bare minimum but I’ve had more than one date messaging other women through the dating app right in front of me.
From my wife:
Before we had sex for the first time, we were making out, and I asked if she wanted to go to the bedroom. She said she’d rather not, and because I’m not trying to push someone into doing something they don’t want to, I was like “okay! No problem!” And we finished our movie
Apparently that scored a lot of points
Being self-reflective with a growth mindset is a fuck yes to me
Being present. Actively listening, eye contact. It’s sexy. Or am I just asking for bare minimum here 😂
Consistency.
Just normal communication – no love bombing and simply replying to texts within a normal timeframe.
No sexual questions early on- and by that ifykyk. For some reason, these are the only types I see around alot, so even this bare minimum seems too sweet honestly atp
He is consistent. If he says “I will date you on Wednesday” it is because he will date me on Wednesday. 🙂
As simple as it sounds, asking questions about us and being curious about our lives.
Words and actions aligning.
Conversational skills. It’s amazing how many men don’t know that you need to ask questions on dates.
Understands what I do for safety and is cool with it: lets me check in with friends with no fuss, doesn’t push alcohol on me, meets in public places, doesn’t insist on driving, doesn’t try to get me back to his place (or mine), lets me set the pace as far as touching is concerned, *obviously* doesn’t joke about hurting or raping or killing me, and gives me truthful answers about his identity.
They treat other people with kindness, especially people who they don’t have to be kind to/have no incentive to be.
Taking initiative in things like planning dates and also being kind to people other than me. It tells me they’re a genuinely kind person and not just being nice because they’re interested in me
A weird one I have is being kind to my stuffed animals. I have a few that are extremely sentimental from early childhood that I still sleep with at night (yes yes very immature etc.. i have more important battles than breaking a stuffed animal dependence so I dont bother). I told my current partner that my stuffed animals are special to me, and even while we were still friends and not dating yet, he took extra care to not throw them around or sit on them. its a really good sign for me.