Right now my husband and I live away from his, and spend a few weeks out of the year visiting them.
When visiting his family, we stay with a sibling who has a few kids. Its a few weeks for us on an air mattress in a toy room, no privacy and I thrive in clean atmosphere and with a few kids it’s definitely not that. His family is fine and we get along, but I definitely don’t feel a part of them and I get kids dumped on me all the time for babysitting.
On the flip side, his parents are retired and when they visit us they stay for 3-4 weeks. again it’s fine, but you know in-laws 🤷♀️
In our 5 year plan we want to move somewhere else and of course my husband advocates to be close to his family. He’s pointed out if we were an hour or so away I wouldn’t have to stay at their house during visits but get to go home in my own space at the end of the day. I don’t love the area they live, and again his family is fine, but I don’t want to see them multiple times a year.
I wrote this post not asking anyone to solve my problem, but in a genuine curiosity on what people would prefer if they had the choice. Live faraway from in laws but have large chunks of visiting times that make you uncomfortable or living close and get to be in your own home and space but see them multiple times a year?