This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.
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I often get messages on dating sites that within the first or second exchange the person asks to “meet”, “fuck”, or “for my number.” Maybe it’s because I’m using FB dating, but surely there’s no way that approach actually works on anyone right?
On the other side of that I’m curious if men get such overt advancements or some other interaction that’s similar from women.
two matches so far this year. One didn’t respond to my first message; exchanged a feww messages with the second about a mutual hobby before crickets.
I think I may date a little. I haven’t felt like dating since I broke up with a sweet, anxious guy last February, but lately I’m kind of feeling like dipping my toe and seeing who’s around.
Welp. Looks like I got a little ahead of myself and this person I’ve been seeing doesn’t have long-term potential. I think I like her too much to keep it casual, so I’m feeling quite disappointed this morning.
Blows my mind that some people still waffle on the kids thing even in their late 30s.
I’m going to a concert with a guy today. Hope it goes well.
I had a failed date with a friend in october and didn’t try other dates with other people until now.
What are your thoughts, feelings and experiences on long distance relationships?
First person to actually ask *me* out and not the other way around makes a comment about “having a couple run-ins with the law in my youth”, only it turns out her “youth” was actually several times in the last three years, all harassment and assault charges filed against her by five, FIVE (5!!!) different people according to our state’s court records (at least it’s the same, somewhat non-conventional name, spelling and all), two still pending—because curiosity got the better of me. Then Google found her FB and the first thing I see on the timeline is “____ has joined <local skinhead group>”. a week before Christmas.
Why someone like that would want to date my brown ass? Don’t know. Not trying to find out either.
So uh, yeah…happy new year and all.
Going on a week-long tropical vacation with family today, looking forward to it! I haven’t had a vacation in well over a year so I am in need of some self care in this regard 👌
I don’t know what I’m doing.
friend came to town and i relegated my 2025 Dating Wrapped. they were prolific on the Apps years ago and their stories with unflattering, hyper-specific nicknames for faceless encounters were central to my belief that a [REDACTED] <intentionally prolonged casual dating> phase builds character. they quit dating after a traumatic incident.
they said i got them excited to try dating again. nice! i gave them the following tips:
• likes don’t matter. matches don’t matter. messages don’t matter. get the number. the goal is to meet up.
• first dates are always worth it
• first dates aren’t dates, they’re vibe checks
• don’t try to message your way to true love (this is specific to them based on their history)
• keep expectations low.
• do it for the plot.
• don’t think
• don’t worry too much about openers. ‘hey’ is fine for starting the conversation. ‘heyyy’ is good for telling them that you’re trouble (positive)
• alternatively: open with the most outrageous thing you can say to grab their attention. rub those two braincells together. surprise yourself with what you can get away with.
• be upfront but don’t be gross
• you’re in your 30s. you know who you are and what you want. if it sucks, walk away. there’s a million things you’d rather be doing
• have fun! make yourself laugh.
• make me laugh. send screenshots
is this objectively good advice? probably not. but it got them to dive in, and they said they’re having fun for the first time in a long time. i’m proud of them! no screenshots yet, though.
Okay so what am I supposed to do here, I’ve been feeling like my needs aren’t really being met for a while with this girl 29F I’m dating. 5 months. She has never stayed at mine despite me brining it up numerous times. I don’t mind in the week but would be nice for her to stay here some weekends.
Her parents visit her most weekends as she’s renovating a house. But they stay there overnight for 4-5 nights. I feel I’m in a 3 way relationship with them. Any little time she has for me I get a last minute invite normally around 8pm to come over. It’s always off the cuff. She never plans in advance. I don’t mind being a planner but it would be nice if she at least asked just once if I’m free on so and so day.
It’s been getting to me. Last night I was around hers and she never asked me to stay. I don’t feel I should be the one to bring up staying at hers, she should be the one to ask. Even just a simple “bring a toothbrush later if you want to stay” would be nice. So I came home and I mentioned it by text.
But she thinks it’s a joke? I opened up to her and said I don’t feel like I’m wanted there when you don’t invite me over or ask me to stay.
And all she replied to it with was “fair point”. That’s it. How do I bring up that that’s not really an adequate addressing of this situation? Like I actually want the girl I’m dating to want me there. It’d be nice to be asked or make a plan in advance.
I’m in a new relationship (seven dates in, including a couple sleepovers) and I’m confused as to how casually he mentions love. The other day he said, “if you love me, never feed me spinach” (after I said I love spinach) and just today I was being goofy and he said “I love you but if you do that in front of my friends I’ll deny ever knowing you”.
Both cases were tongue in cheek so it didn’t come across as a big announcement but I’m low-key confused about how I should take it.
In my previous LTR (only one I’ve had) saying I love you was this huge deal that he did on a day that was important for both of us, exactly three months into the relationship, and I kinda assumed that was the standard. But maybe it’s not for everyone? I wonder how it’s been for other people?
My ex mentioned being jealous of “other” couples on the train…buddy. “Other” does not belong there, but nice to know how he really feels, I guess.
I’m still waiting to feel anything other than finality with regard to my dating life. She’s done; finished, finito. Fini.
Considering whether travelling on my own might ever be in the cards. I don’t want to have to stay put forever just because no one I wanted ever chose me.
Is it too desperate to get back on the apps January 3rd after years of not using them while single?
I think that mid Feb might be better; after situationships end cause they don’t see eye to eye about Valentines day.
I’ve also been told to wait til late January for even better boxing deals since stores want to get rid of their Winter stock. All about timing I guess??
I’ve been going back and forth about the guy I’ve been seeing and I’m not sure if I’m overthinking things because I’m starting to actually like him, or if things are just not a match. When we’re in-person, I feel really calm and we seem like a great match. I really like talking to him, there’s good chemistry, our values are aligned, and the sex is phenomenal. It’s early on (a little over a month since our first date) and he’s started opening up about his family, insecurities, etc, which will help me do the same with time. His texting leaves a lot to be desired, but I did tell him I needed more consistency a few weeks ago and he stepped things up in terms of reaching out multiple times a day and asking me follow up questions about what I said. However, the texts are still pretty one-sided (I send long messages and he responds with a sentence or two), and I have initiated most of our dates and hang outs. He’s also extremely good looking, which might be making me insecure as I am very average or even a little below average.
I think I need to have a conversation about where he stands, whether he wants to deepen things or not, etc, but I also don’t want to let my insecurities ruin things.
Ugh, single dad has cancelled on me – we were supposed to have dinner tmrw.
It’s a bummer but I’m also feeling like a bit of a mug because I’ve been initiating a fair bit, and I’m also getting into my head about it, feeling like I like him more than he likes me and I’m making more effort. Plus I told my friends about it and now I don’t want them to ask me about it lol 🤡
I can’t seem to even get a date to happen, it’s so frustrating. The amount of times I’ve been stood up or blown off after scheduling a date… Trying not to get down about it but at some point it feels like I’m doing something wrong?
Talked to a guy on an app for a few days, we seem to like each other, we schedule a date for tonight, we continue talking/flirting, today arrives, I ask “we still on for tonight at 8?” and he unmatches me instantly. This happens almost every single time. Is it the avoidance of a perceived ‘demand’? Is it anxiety? Am I simply too low on their roster and got bumped? Why are 40-year-old men seemingly so hard to pin down for a simple date at a bar?
Hi all,
I’ve been on a few dates with this guy who is very sweet. One thing that gives me pause is he is somewhat recently divorced. Another is that he is several years younger than me. I was wondering why does a 29 year old want to date a 36 year old.
Today he revealed to me that he was born with a condition that made him completely infertile. But he still wants kids someday through adoption possibly.
He doesn’t care as much about the age of his partner as he knows he can’t produce kids and he even said he probably rather adopt one day vs having his partner give birth via sperm donation.
It was a big reveal to me. Honestly, kids aren’t really a deal breaker for me, but it was a little bit of shocking news. I could tell it was hard for him to tell me this and he said he wanted to be 100 percent honest as to not waste my time.
Wondering if anyone else has has experience with such a situation. We met IRL by the way not a dating app and he told me after several times of being intimate.
I don’t understand dating at all. There is no rhyme or reason. Doesn’t matter what occupation he’s got or how much money he has or what his background is, it always ends up the same. It always ends up with vagueness or the conversation slowly coming to a stop. I’m starting to think that there’s maybe something wrong with me?
My first date since my divorce went really well! He isn’t really relationship material for me personally, so I said we’d make good friends. But he was really sweet and kind, and we’re already planning more outings in the future. I got to make another local friend that doesn’t live hundreds of miles away through a screen, so that’s still a win in my book!
I’m more proud of myself than anything that I feel much more confident and relaxed than I used to about dating and setting boundaries and stuff. Feels good man ❤️
I’m curious what people think about this. I was talking to my mum about having children and how, although there are lots of parts of parenting that do appeal to me, there are a lot that don’t and that on balance I don’t think I want to have children of my own. We got to talking about IVF and I said I would never go down that route if I couldn’t get pregnant naturally because of the cost, physical effects, mental turmoil etc and that I didn’t want children that badly, and she said ‘oh well that tells you everything, if you wouldn’t have IVF then you obviously don’t want children enough to have them at all, naturally or not. If you wanted children you’d drag yourself over hot coals to have them.’
I don’t quite agree with this but can’t articulate why not, and I can see her point, that having children should be a ‘hell yeah’ not a ‘only if it’s easy’ (not saying that getting pregnant naturally is necessarily easy, but easier than IVF). What do you think?
Had a great first date today. We were together for like 4 hours. Time just flew by. The only problem is I’m not sure if I’m actually physically attracted to her after meeting in person. She already asked to see me again and I’d like to see her again because we got along great. Im conflicted though because I don’t want to lead her on and then realize it’s not going to work, but that’s just part of dating I guess.
As per my New Year’s resolution to get out more—I’m going to a singles clubbing event. I haven’t been clubbing since pre-COVID. I use to really like it and be good at it. I’m still a tad nervous since I won’t know anyone (I guess that’s the point). Here’s to getting out of my self-imposed cage 🥂
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36F. In the spirit of letting the universe decide for me for 2026, I am going for a first date with 30M at 9am tomorrow and we are going to fish for salmon or trout. It’s winter and freezing cold. He’s kinda cute. Really too young imo but whatever. I haven’t fished ever in my entire life and he’s picking me up with his car. I’ve always wanted to try fishing at least once in my life as a city girl, so I feel like this is a sign from the universe to just experience new shit. Even if the date sucks, at least I can say that I’ve tried fishing at 9am lol. It sounds so silly and stupid in my head but really, after so many people that I’ve encountered, it’s gonna take a lot to shock me. I just hope that we won’t be awkward but I can’t predict that. If anything, I can always take the train home.
My avoidant ex broke up with me then acted like I was Satan. He threatened to throw my things in the street after living together for 7 months.
It hurts to think 2 years of memories and traveling the world together meant so little to him in the end.
I know I have a lot of love and patience to give someone but the thought of starting over again is scary and exhausting. My heart hurts
So I’m a 33 year old female who broke up with my partner two months ago after a four year relationship. We lived together and were engaged for two years but the last 1.5 years thing were really not going well. I felt really lonely in the relationship because he was only pursuing his personal goals and he didn’t feel the need to hang out or do things with me apart from sitting on the couch every evening. He made it clear on multiple occasions that was enough for him and we couldn’t meet each others needs any longer, even though we both did try.
During the last 1.5 years that things started to fall apart there was a night where I went out for drinks with some friends and spent some hours talking to this guy I knew through the friend I came in with. By talking to him and hearing about his visions on a relationship and his goals in life I started to realise that I shared those beliefs and goals and was clearly missing them in my then still ongoing relationship with my ex. In that last year this eye-opener started living a life of its own and I always felt like if we ever broke up I’d love to go out with this dude to explore what could be there. I’ve never acted on this, just to be clear.
Now that we did in fact break up, the guy from the night out keeps popping into my head and we’ve talked over Instagram multiple times and seen each other around since we live close by. I’d really love to ask him out on a date, but also don’t want to rush into things if it could potentially mean ruining it by going into it too soon or something. I’m at a place where I’m content with myself and by myself, but I’m also really ready to settle down with someone and have a life together.
Long story short, did any of you experience something like this and what kind of advice would you give me?
Someone I know lost their father this week and it made me realize I am scared I’ll lose a parent / both parents before I meet my husband.
I *want* them to know him and vice versa. I *want* him to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. I *want* my dad to walk me down the aisle. I *want* my parents to know I’ve got a good partner beside me. I *want* my future children to have memories with their grandparents.
My parents are both healthy, but life happens fast and can be unexpected.
(Sending love to those who have already lost parent(s)/parental figures)
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Ok got some good updates. I finally got asked out on a second date! He wanted to go to a local swimming area thats cute nearby. I declined since im very busy right now but said I want to see him again and ill check in mid week to let him know where im at with my deadline project. I dont mind it as a second date because its actually a nice place to go and he bought be brunch on the first date. Still have my reservations about this guy but im willing to feel it out.
In other fun news kissed my first rave bae of the year. Add it to the 2026 dating wrapped!!! I mentioned i was taking myself out to a music event and was gonna dress up alternative with a blonde wig. Texted my friend and asked her if she thought i could pick up with my look. She said yea. I guess it worked ahaha. Ah he was so cute. But so young. His friend was wingman of the year. Came and tapped me on the shoulder, pointed to his friend. 😳 I dont even know what to do, I told them my real age but no one will believe me so idk.
On the last two dates I’ve had (40F), I paid for their meals. Neither guy offered to pay for their share and I felt awkward about asking. One saw a two for one burger deal and was stoked they got to have both and didn’t think that perhaps we could have one each.
I’d be more than happy to go Dutch but I have to admit, it bugs me that I’m annoyed about it still and while it may not be the intention, it’s like they felt entitled to a free meal.
I was thinking what stayed with me, what value added the guys I met in my life brought into my life. I honestly think my life would have been better without all of my past relationships, including most importantly physical health that the last relationship took away.
But from positives:
– went to travel with my first bf to Morocco, Portugal, and Thailand (I mean we shared expenses, but it was a good and chill time with him)
– we spent the loveliest time with our common friends, we hosted so many dinners at least weekly.
– going to a large Asian supermarket on Saturday was like a true weekly happy fairy tale routine for me. I still go there from time to time.
– my second bf taught me how to ride a bicycle (it became one of my fav things to do; unfortunately due to the health damaged in the last relationship I do it extremely rarely now).
– thanks to him, I discovered what I like in bed.
– he gifted my late grandma a tablet thanks to which we remained almost in daily contact through WhatsApp video calls (she is still my most precious and dearest person in the world; and the tablet enhanced so much our communication living in different countries).
– stayed at CERN hostel with him.
(We did travel but traveling with him was absolutely traumatic after which I still cannot travel even with friends, only alone).
– third bf – nothing comes to my mind.
– fourth bf – he introduced me music of Saint Levant, who for the 2nd year in a row has been my top most listened singer (as per Spotify).
The guy I am seeing now showed me the other day how to play chess. All my life I thought it’s a very complicated game, beyond my abilities. Now for the two past days I tried playing it on phone app and I just cannot stop, I love it!
I mean it might sound weird, but I also learned a bit about the world and cultures. All my exes somehow happened to be from different regions of the world; from East Asia, South Asia, Latin America and Middle East (we were either students or working outside of our home countries). I do think it increased my understanding of some cultural nuances and made it easier for me to relate or understand those differences. I mean probably still naively I never thought (or think) it matters where someone is from, since it’s just an external layer imo. Funny thing is that the guy I am seeing now is from the same region as me, but I guess since I expect more similarities i only see differences, while before I never thought about it all, it was more like “oh okay he is this way.”
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38f always been single. On these stupid apps and the conversations never get going And after I’ve responded a few times I never hear anything else back. And when I’m the one to do the messaging first? Absolutely no response. Ever. I’m as invisible online as I am in real life. I know I’m a 4/10 on a good day, but just, for once, I would like a nice conversation with someone of the opposite sex instead of feeling like an outcast.
First day back on hinge. Got one like, but not quite a match. No responses on my likes so far.
In your experience how long does it take for your likes on hinge to respond (if they do)? Or phrasing it differently, how often do women people clean out their stack?
I’m taking it pretty easy so far. Hopefully it’ll stay that way.
Anyone else in complete burnout? I have a date tomorrow I am dreading going on. He’s super nice and attractive, I just feel meh. I won’t cancel, and I will go in with intentions, but honestly, if it’s not a match, I’m taking a break.
40M Nothing to report. No matches, no likes, no phone numbers no interesting conversations with a girl at the bar or the coffee shop. I am trying to manifest a woman in my life, but I’m starting to realize I am not a 6, I’m probably more like a 2. Feeling very frustrated and depressed. This isn’t new, 2025 and 24 and 23 were like this. It just gets really sad and lonely, touch starved. It becomes a negative feedback loop and just keeps getting worse.
I matched with a guy 9 months ago and it didn’t work out after the first date as he wasn’t ready (lol classic). I thought we got along really well but I respect his decision and we still follow each other on socials. We have A LOT of hobbies (pottery, running, travelling) in common and will occasionally like each other’s stories but no conversations. (I’ve replied/reacted a couple times but they never became conversations) Anyways we were in the same city last month for like just a few hours, he replied my story for the first time and we had a conversation for a few days before it died off (we were both travelling). Idk if I should reach out again, I’ve been on other dates with other guys in between, but none of them really have the same hobbies and interests as I do with this guy. For context he’s one of those pretty popular guys that gets attention from other girls and gives if he wanted he would energy , so im not sure if it’s worth if I reached out..