i’m not sure why i’m writing this, i mean the title speaks for itself.
i (f27) am married to my husband (m29) for almost 8 years now, 6 of them living together. in the beginning everything seemed great, perfect even. but as the years passed, more and more happened between us. i feel like it’s become impossible for me too love him.
he has been going to therapy since a year, we even did couples counseling in between. but i feel like i keep repeating myself like a broken record player. it’s like i’m always asking for the same thing over and over again. for example the main things i ask for is more emotional support, keeping his word and stoping with the lying.
at the same time i feel like i’m losing myself in this marriage. i’ve become so bitter and aggressive i don’t even recognize myself anymore. yet at the same time i know deep down, i still care about him deeply. there’s been multiple occasions where i was fed up and said i was done and was gonna leave, today was one of them. he keeps saying he’s gonna do better and be better, but it just feels like i’m married to his potential at this point. i even started packing today which made him call my family. now we’re sleeping in separate places for the night.
i’m sorry, i’m rambling.. if you’ve come this far, thank you for reading and any advice is welcome and helpful! i’m honestly desperate and don’t know what to do, if i should actually go or stay..