Hi everyone, I’m looking for advice on how to handle a recurring communication issue in my relationship.
I’m 22F and my boyfriend is 29M. We’ve been together for about 3 years.
Recently, an argument started when I realised my period was coming and that I had run out of pads at his place and I kept telling him my period was coming a few days ago
I told my boyfriend my period came today and asked if he could buy some. He said he would get them later when we went out together.
What upset me wasn’t the timing itself, but that it felt like I still had to initiate, remind, and organise it. Over the years, I’ve communicated that I value initiative and small acts of care, especially when I’m not feeling well, without having to ask repeatedly.
When I tried to explain that this wasn’t about pads but about wanting to feel considered, the conversation escalated. He focused on logic and timing and said things like that it was “just one incident,” that I was “blowing it out of proportion,” and that I “ask for help too often for simple things.” He also said I’m a “grown woman” and shouldn’t need this, and denied that not preparing things meant he didn’t care.
I tried to explain that I wasn’t asking because I’m incapable, but because emotional care and initiative matter to me. When I asked to pause the conversation, it kept looping into debates about whether my feelings were logical.
My question is:
How can I communicate my need for initiative and emotional care in a way that doesn’t turn into defensiveness or dismissal, and how do I tell whether this is a communication issue that can be improved or a deeper mismatch in expectations?
Thanks for any advice.
Update few hours later: he blocked me everywhere I can’t talk to him
I’m fucking upset I’m so upset