Last night (NYE), my boyfriend posted a photo on his Instagram story of me in a dress flashing him. He put X’s over my nipples but it was still clearly sexual. I didn’t know he posted it until I woke up and saw a friend sent me a screenshot.
I was really upset and told him to delete it immediately. He did and apologized, and acknowledged that he crossed a line. He said it would never happen again. At first his apology included some minimizing like “I didn’t think it was that bad because you’re covered” and “I thought it was funny we were laughing about it yesterday”, but after talking about it, he took responsibility and understood why it was not ok.
Here’s where I’m conflicted:
If no one else had opinions, I think I’d be able to be over it now and move forward. I set a clear boundary, it was respected, and I feel okay moving forward.
But now my friends who saw it are checking in, some telling me they would immediately break up with their bf for something like this, and it’s making me second-guess myself. I feel pressure to stay angry or justify why I’m not ending the relationship, even though I feel like I handled it in a way that respects me.
I’m not asking whether what he did was wrong.. I know it was. I guess I’m asking:
Is it reasonable to move on after accountability and a clear boundary, or am I minimizing something serious because it’s uncomfortable to sit with?
Looking for outside perspective, not just “dump him immediately.”