I'm 34, going to be 35 at the end of April, and I feel like such a total screwup. I graduated with a dumb degree in my 20s, and though I moved to a different country and met my wife, I proceeded to spend most of my 20s smoking weed, getting drunk, and playing video games.
I got sober in my late 20s, not long after my wife got pregnant. I freaked out because I wasn't making that much, but was able to make moves and get a six figure, remote job at a tech company. One of the things that really helped was getting medicated for my ADHD.
So, now I'm in my mid-30s and I just can't stop comparing myself to others, and thinking I totally screwed my life up, and my family's by extension. My wife is able to stay home with our son, but because we live in SoCal, although I make pretty good money it only goes so far here.
I am so disappointed in myself, and have so many regrets. If I'm honest, it's mostly tied to how much I make. I look at my son, and I love him so much, and I just wanna give him everything. But we live in a 2 bedroom apartment, and I feel like a complete failure. We have no debt, and live in a fairly nice area, which I'm proud of, so by most accounts we're doing pretty well. But I still feel an overwhelming sense of sadness for not working harder in my 20s (and earlier) to provide better for my family.
I don't know what to do. I'm on antidepressants. I talked to a therapist on the phone this morning, that helped a little. Please help.