So my wife (26F) and I (29M) have had intimacy issues for a while and by that I mean i have expressed to her that I enjoy when she's spontaneous, pleasures me in the ways | like without me having to ask. It has always bothered me to ask for "favors" like that because I don't want her to do them just because I asked. I want her to do them because she loves me and is thinking about the things I want/enjoy.
Over the past 2-3 years we have had arguments, discussions, disagreements, and understandings but what happens is she'll do those things | like for a little bit then completely stop. It got to the point where I told her that I'm not going to ask her for "those things" anymore since for me it's uncomfortable and secondly I've expressed why I don't like asking her in length multiple times.
Fast forward to now. I was masterbating in the bathroom because I was sexually frustrated. Now, I was mastbating to videos of her and I and of her doing those exact things that I like that she barely does now. An already long story made short, she knocked on the door for get something from the bathroom and when I opened the door she noticed what I must have been doing and is now upset at me.
The funniest thing is that we had already talked about me just cranking one out when she's either not in the mood or I'm sexually frustrated and even though she grudgingly said "yea do whatever you want" I knew that it might start some problems if I did.
Sorry for the long post but I'm just so confused and conflicted about how I'm supposed to tackle this situation. She barely ever wants to have sex or do anything sexual even when we're completely alone in the house together.
PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE OR TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF THE SITUATION!
P.S if anyone is asking, yes I enjoy and consistently offer to do these same things that I'm asking from her .