My husband and I have been together 16 years. I was 18. Moved in together fairly quickly and the rest is history. Lately I’ve had this urge to take a little break. I don’t know who I am without him. We’ve been together every day since we met. I literally daydream how I would live my life if I wasn’t a wife. Is it weird to want to go and find myself at 34? We have a pretty good marriage and I truly believe we actually like each other (which seems rare in other marriages). He’s my best friend. There’s never been any cheating or physical abuse. But we deff get on each other’s nerves and after being together so long, we don’t really have much to talk about. We’re stuck in a routine I do not enjoy. Would getting my own apartment to find myself ruin my marriage?
5 comments
why not try a weekend away alone and unplugged?
I me my wife at 25, married at 26. We get along beautifully and are best friends. I occasionally daydream about what life would be like single, without othered to consider in every single decision. But I’ve been there and the reality is that marriage with her is better.
I think it’s common to think about what would be if we were in different circumstances when we’ve been with the same person, job, location, etc for a long time. But unless things are actually bad, the reality is rarely better. I think this is especially true for relationships.
It just means you’re human.
Yes, getting your own apartment would probably be bad for your marriage. I don’t know how, even with your explanation, a spouse doesn’t take that as a massive rejection. A soft slow breakup. Even if they seem supportive, I’d bet under it is the feeling they’re losing you.
You can try solo traveling for few days a year,remember never throw a good relationship for such funy ideas it’s difficult to find good people in this world nowadays. Enjoy.
I’ve definitely felt this instinct before. But what I’ve realized is you can have space and independence within a marriage as long as you aren’t wanting sexual relationships with other people. Sleeping in a separate room sometimes, having separate hobbies, spending time by yourself; these are all things that are perfectly acceptable and healthy, you just need to explain it to him so he understands it’s about you and not about him.
But a separate apartment feels pretty extreme, mostly because it’s a pretty huge financial commitment. Could you just carve out some space in your home instead? If not, maybe it’s time to move to somewhere together where you can?
Met my wife when i was 19, 25 yrs together and i don’t want life without her.
As other suggest solo traveling- did that. We missed each other too much, never again.