It feels so silly writing this but I need advice. I, 20F and bf 19m have been dating for one year. Around thanksgiving drama happened.
His stepfather 40m has a habit of making sexual jokes, these jokes make me uncomfortable and I have had my boyfriend tell him not to say them to me or about me. Well at thanksgiving he was making a joke about “skiing” about my boyfriend, his brother and the stepdad. I thought he was saying it to me and bf. After thanksgiving I told him he either talks to him about that along with weird things he had also been saying about him or I’m out. He has been saying for over a year now my boyfriend must have had a big “part” to had pulled me and that has been making him insecure and uncomfortable for a while along with me.
Well when he talked to him he said the “part” comments bothered me, “forgetting” about himself. When it came to actually not making those comments towards me, it turns out it was said to him and it was a misunderstanding so there’s that. Anyways I thought that was that and planned on apologizing for the misunderstanding.
A few days later we were at work and he was acting weird. Eventually he said he needed to talk to me at lunch? I asked him what about, he wouldn’t tell me, and when I asked “are we breaking up?” He said “Depends on how pissed you get”. He proceeded to blow up on me through text, telling me I can’t take a joke, how him and his step dad compared me to his friend’s girlfriend, and more I can’t remember at this time.
I was assaulted as a kid my stepfather for years. You can infer what I mean by that. On top of that, men have made gross comments to me for my whole life. It grosses me out. I had to remind my own boyfriend I was assaulted and that is a big reason as to why that creeps me out. He started apologizing and I was crying my eyes out. I broke up with him but then we stayed together for gods knows why.
I’m just kinda lost. On one hand, I like him, but on the other, he makes me miserable. I pack him lunches for work, I help him clean, and what I get is him not respecting my boundaries, not defending me, or just overall just being a wimp. I defend him, why can’t he do the same?
There’s other stuff that has happened but should I just dump him? It’s like he listens to everyone else’s opinions and chooses it to be his
TLDR: Boyfriend won’t stick up for me about his family