Been with my husband for 5 years and married for 1.5 years now. We have an 11 month old and since we got married, we’ve had sex only 3 times. We’ve had sex once this year (it was so awful) and this was after he rejected my advances multiple times and reluctantly complied once.
I remember my daughter and I were in a car accident on the highway. I eventually called him to let him know what had happened and he rather scolded me about joining a particular group chat I had joined on WhatsApp (that he was already a part of). I was shocked!
When I dress up, he doesn’t compliment me even after I nudge him to. We’ve kissed once this year. I had to tell him to at least hug me when he gets home from work. He’s ok with our child but isn’t very hands on. I started seeing a therapist to understand what’s happening and help me deal with the situation and started to dissociate as a result. I think he noticed and sat me down to beg me to give our marriage another chance… that he’ll do better. A day after the conversation, he just went back to his regular settings.
I had lost so much weight because of the stress ~33 pounds within the span of 3 months.
he’s had to travel for work (been away for 2 months) and calls maybe twice a week to speak to our daughter (and yes I tried initiating calls but he always says he’s busy). We barely speak about our lives… I recently got a new job as a C level executive and thought he’d be happy for me and at least want to know what’s going on.
I’ve gained some good weight back. Dressing up more and fitting social gatherings in when I can. Now he’s home for Christmas and suddenly wants to create the illusion of us being one big happy family. Conversations have improved a bit by him talking only about himself or about our daughter. I have proposed marriage counselling 3 times and was ignored each time. When he arrived from his trip, I didn’t even get a hug or kiss. He doesn’t open the door for me when I’m carrying our daughter and other stuff. I asked if he still wants this to work out and he referenced that one conversation we had months ago that he’s already had the discussion.
I have tried asking if there’s something I’ve done and get no answer. I’m frustrated and want to see if there’s another perspective I’m not considering. Now I feel more resentful of him than love because what on earth is happening?
Ps: this isn’t in chronological order as this is a rant. There’s so much more but this is the best summary.