TL;DR:
My fiance and I on different life paces. How can handle it? I'm ready and want to settle and it seems like he's not.
Me 24F and my fiance 24M
So he's been working for 3 years now (while studying part time), I started working 3 months ago (finished my degree)
We got engaged 2 months ago. (Dated for 5 years now)
So I feel like we are moving through life on different paces. I want to settle, I mostly got my life figured out and what I want. Kids, married before 30 and working to one day have my own business. I'm absolutely an open-minded and creative person. He on the other hand can be very stubborn.
He says I'm nagging him, when I push him to get a better paying job. So that we can get married end of 2026/beginning of 2027. Because I want to settle and have kids before 30 while also having some time alone before kids. (We don't live together – his parents is very strict we marry first)
He's not looking for other work at the moment, he's all too chill about everything in general and that frustrate me so much. He has an excuse for everything not just why he's not looking other jobs, but other things too like simple tasks for example he loves wood work and mostly finished building me a bookshelf it only needs one plank, that needs to be sanded and cut and then attached. He'd say no he doesn't have time, he's always at my place, then it's no it's too hot outside, or he's not in the mood.
I really want to make this work, but I sometimes feel like we always choose his way and my thoughts, plans, dreams and feelings aren't considered. I tried talking to him, but he always says that I knew he wanted to wait and take things slow because he is not ready financially.
My point I keep making is…. Then look for a better job. But no, excuses excuses. He likes where he's working and wants to see if the company grows, no he can't he still has one module left to complete for his degree.
I don't know what to do. I really want to make this work, I really love him.
TL;DR:
My fiance and I on different life paces. How can handle it? I'm ready and want to settle and it seems like he's not.