My (F24) boyfriend (M25), who have been in a relationship for 3 years and a half, met and started dating during university, in a particularly demanding career, we supported each other, graduating with good grades and then began our professional internships, which last a year, in the same city but in a different place, so we decided to live together. Yesterday we officially concluded this big step in our careers, I'm very happy and melancolic at the same time, because I enjoyed a lot this year despite the hardships. However, my boyfriend's expecience was much different, since the beggining he was encountered with superiors that abused their power over the interns, late work departure time, talk bad about him to the other workers, adding to the exigent the job alredy is. Besides, my boyfriend has a history of mental health issues tha include anxiety and depression, which he has been fighting for years. All this together, little by little made a weight over his head, to sume it up he required various emergency psychiatric interventions, various weeks of absence for mental health, one hospitalization and many medication changes. I've given my best to suppert him, I don't know if it was enough but I've tried, at times when he wanted to give up, when he had dark thoughts, I always pushed him to know how caring, kind, lovable, smart, sharp person he is. I must admit, sometimes, I cuestion myself if this was the right path, if it wasn't better if he got far from that place, but I didn't want him to lose what he had built with so much effort so far, thought that would destroy him much more.
I had to hide the good and the bad suff I was going through, trying to not affect him, even the things in our relationship that I didn't like, I wanted to change, I couldn't say to him. I felt like I was the only one carrying the relatioship. We reach a point where we hardly had dates, influenced by our schedules truth to be told, but there was no real effort either, or when we went out he never was in the mood, making me feel like I was forcing him to be present. There were a lot of uncomfortable silences between us, when before there was no moment we weren't talking, laughing, kissing.
I started going out with my coworkers more and more, when I invited him, he just maintain emerged in himself, making no contac despite the others trying to talk to him, so I stopped the invitations. At the same time, I started to lose attraction towards him, not just physically, we stopped having intimacy, maybe once o twice a month, that admiration with what I used to saw him kinda faded away a little. I know he resented the change, maybe made him felt worse. But he never once told something about it. That is another problem, since the beginning we talk about being open with our feelings, so if there is a problem or situation we would addres it, it's easier said than done, specially from his side, but we were slowly improving, nevertheless, since 6 months back it's like we took 5 steps back, him for what he is going through and me, cause I felt like I had to walk on eggshels around him.
This last month, I've been cuestioning how or if we can continue, should we fight for us? Give us time apart? or just end it? I love him so much, we used to be so happy together, he made me feel love, secured, cared for, we made plans for a future together, am I betraying all the promises we made?
We alredy concluded this stresing period, which was his worst triggering, he himself has told me he wants to fully dedicate to heal, be his better version for him and for us. I know I have to talk to him regardless of my decision. Is it healthy to continue this relationship, can we heal accompanied by each other even though we both have a lot of inside job to do?
**TL;DR;**
My (24 F) boyfriend (25 M) and I lived together through our professional internships, to sume it up he required various emergency psychiatric interventions, various weeks of absence for mental health, one hospitalization and many medication changes. I've given my best to suppert him, I don't know if it was enough but I've tried, at times when he wanted to give up, when he had dark thoughts, I always pushed him to know how caring, kind, lovable, smart, sharp person he is. But it had a strain in our relationship, where I felt like I was carrying all the weight. Is it healthy to continue this relationship, can we heal accompanied by each other even though we both have a lot of inside job to do?