A few months ago I started dating this guy, we got along really well and had a bunch in common. He was quite a bit older than me (35M) but I (24F) didn’t mind. And then he told me he had a kid. This honestly made my heart sink a little – i had always dreamed of meeting someone and having that experience together for the first time and I had a lot of serious questions related to his relationship with the bm. From what I understand they coparent really well and are rather friendly which normally I don’t mind. I already knew that I would have issues and insecurity problems so I voiced how I felt with him and he said that things would work out etc etc.
The problems started a few weeks into the relationship. We went over to his friends house for a holiday party and his friend had gotten drunk and kept touching me, grabbing my butt, etc. and kept saying he wanted to sleep with me. (Keep in mind this is in front of my boyfriend) eventually my boyfriend says a little something laughed a bit and he backs off a little bit and not 10 minutes later whips out his d*ck in front of everyone including his wife, we left pretty soon after that and I was mortified. In the car I asked him why he didn’t say something to him sooner and how uncomfortable I felt. He proceeded to yell at me in the car, it really freaked me out. I didn’t talk to him for a couple days after this
He apologized I get over it and then the next and reoccurring issue. I have this feeling he is still in love with his bm. So one time I just straight up asked if he had feeling a for her and his response is “she has been dating a guy for two years” which is true but it also makes me wonder if it a second option or placeholder etc etc. then in conversations he would start to care more about how she felt about things over me. Ex- I was really u comfortable with the idea of her spending the weekend at his house for the kids birthday. that just doesn’t come across as we have boundaries and we’re I’ve reach there etc etc. I told him how uncomfortable I was and his first reaction was to tell me well I’m not going to risk the peace I have with her for you. But I’m like what about me? He is constantly justifying her behavior, bowing down to her, and defending her every chance he gets.
Now we’re in this major fight. I had mentioned how I didn’t understand why he always did favors for her and did things to keep her happy even if it made me uncomfortable and I made a sly pass towards her (I was angry okay) and he said well Yeah but at least she didn’t do (and proceeds to mentioned a huge mistake I made as a kid) that really hurt. It was something I trusted him with.
Literally what do I do. When he’s good he’s good but every time we argue it blows up I feel like I’m just waiting for the next explosion
He told me that everyone was right about me, I’m a wh*re, a waste of air, and the most selfish b*tch he has ever met.
He keeps saying this is my fault but it’s literally bc the way he rushes to defend her genuinely concerns me.
I know that no matter when we break up he’s going to say awful things about me and idk why that scares me but it does. His friend group (not the weird guy lol different group) is the only friend group I know around here I moved to this state with nobody.
Td;lr; been dating this guy a couple of months and I’m not sure whether to stay or go. Lowkey think he might still be into his bm.