Hello everyone.
I am writing this with a very heavy heart. I never thought I would have to share my personal life online, but I feel completely broken and alone. I got married through a matrimony platform. Before marriage, I knew my husband only through phone conversations for about one year. Everything sounded normal then. After marriage, I stayed with him for only around 10 days, after which he went back to another country for work. Since then, we have been living separately for months, with no real emotional bonding.
Very soon after marriage, I started facing mental and emotional torture from my in-laws. My husband always takes his parents’ side, no matter how wrong the situation is. He never tries to understand my pain. He keeps saying only one thing again and again:
“My mother is always right, and you are wrong.”
He is completely a mumma’s boy.
The situation became worse when my mother was recently diagnosed with last-stage cancer. She has no income at all and I am her only caregiver. I am managing her treatment alone, travelling to another city, staying there, handling hospitals, medicines, and everything by myself.
My husband does send some monthly money, but he keeps strict counts of every ammount. Emotionally, he has not supported me at all during this most difficult time of my life. While I am watching my mother suffer every day, he sits in another country and only blames me. There is no empathy, no care, no comfort.
I am spending my own savings with great difficulty to support my mother’s treatment. Still, instead of support, I only receive accusations, fights, and cold behaviour.
Whenever I try to talk to my husband or question his parents’ behaviour it turns into a fight. If I argue even a little, he fights even more aggressively and mentally pressures me further.
There are also serious issues related to dishonesty before marriage. Before marriage, my husband told me that he had his own house. But after marriage when I went to his home, I found out that the house actually belongs to his parents.
What shocked me the most was that on my wedding night his parents did not even allow privacy. During the days I stayed there, his father repeatedly told me:
“This is our house even that room is ours, so we will use it whenever we want.”
This was extremely disturbing and shocking for me as a newly married woman.
When I confronted my husband and asked why he lied before marriage about having his own house he simply said . Please adjust.
When I asked his parents directly about the house ownership instead of supporting me my husband fought with me and said:
“You must live according to my parents’ rules. In our house daughters-in-law stay quiet.”
I feel like: I have no emotional support from my husband My pain is constantly invalidated
I am expected to silently tolerate everything
I am married only legally not emotionally
Sometimes I feel so emotionally empty and lonely that I even question myself is it wrong to want emotional support at all? I have not done anything wrong, but these thoughts scare me and make me feel guilty.
I still want peace and dignity, but I don’t know:
Is this emotional neglect and mental cruelty?
Should I keep adjusting endlessly?
Should I demand counseling or separation?
What are my practical options in such a marriage?
At this point, I am seriously considering ending this marriage. In reality, I lived with my husband for only about 10 days after marriage. Since then, I have been staying at my parents’ home. I did not leave by choice — my in-laws asked me to leave and told me to stay in a rented place.
I was working and financially independent before marriage and I am more educated than my husband. After marriage my in-laws forced me to stop working. Due to constant emotional pressure and trauma i could not properly inform my company, and my company eventually terminated my employment. Today, I am jobless and struggling. I have no children, and I am scared of the social stigma of divorce. But this marriage exists only on paper and is destroying my mental peace and dignity.
I need honest advice is choosing peace over such a marriage wrong?
Please guide me honestly. I am mentally exhausted and emotionally broken.