I am not asexual to start this off, I have always had a high sex drive. I have not started any new medication either. We've been together 8 months. My boyfriend is everything I've wanted and more. I have had tumultuous relationships in the past, and he is the calm in the storm that I have asked the universe for. He is kind, sweet, thoughtful, all the green flags. My friends & family like him and say he is good for me and definitely better than any other man I have brought home (I used to have zero standards). However, I think I am getting "bored", because my brain is so used to conflict. I do not want to feel this way, I do not want to leave him and go find someone who will treat me like crap, but I don't know what else could be attributing to this feeling.
I still find him attractive, but I also am starting to not enjoy spending time together (even though the time spent together is good). I am very much a person of solitude and enjoy my "me time", while he always wants to be together, which I also don't mind but sometimes I just want to be alone, but when I say this to him he gets hurt and thinks I don't like him that much, which isn't true, I have just spent most of the last 7 years…alone. There have been periods in there I have dated men that suck, treated me like crap, or didn't want to spend time with me, so while I had someone, I was still alone most of the time, or felt alone emotionally. I have come to know how to do things alone, or by myself. I have done many house projects on my own, I go out to bars and to eat alone, I walk my dogs alone, etc. And he has taken a load off and said he would help me do all of this and I love it.
On that subject I am a very clean/tidy/neat person (as clean as one can be with pets)…and while his house is "clean", it is not tidy. He never makes his bed, his clothes are often on the floor between wash cycles (not a crap ton, just a few outfits laying around), he has random stuff just laying around all over with no place for it. He has literally watched me re-organize my whole kitchen, and I even helped him clean/organize his…but when I bring up maybe he should do that to his garage/living room/bedroom…he doesn't. His garage is actually the worst out of them all, 2 car garage packed full of empty boxes (not all of them his, this is his childhood home that only he lives in but his mom/sister has left stuff there). Then he wonders why I want to stay at my house more nights than his…and it's because I value being tidy as it calms my brain. So I am also wondering if this nagging is contributing to my feelings as well.
I just am hoping to hear if someone else has gone through this and come out the other side. I do not want to break up, I do not want to "start over" with someone, I want to be sexually attracted to him again like I was before.
TLDR: not sexually attracted to boyfriend but don't want to break up as he is a bunch of green flags. just want advice on how to help fix this or if there is a light at the end of the tunnel.