I (28 F) and my husband (30 M) got in a screaming match today on Christmas because I heard my daughter (2 yo) crying and heard a thud and I went in there asking what happened he said I had an attitude then it escalated from there. I cut my mom out of my life for about a year and a half and then we started talking again little bits here and there. I want to give her a second chance but my husband is so against it. I've talked to my therapist and I feel like I have been isolated from my family and its all about his family. About a week ago we were talking about how I need help because of the mental load I carry, Like all mom's do. I work part time so when my husband works I dont necessarily complain about it too much due to him working 60 to 80 hr work weeks. He gets laid off in the winter and he hasn't been doing anything around the house. I ask him for help and he gets pissed at me because he cant find a job and he is trying. We have a huge problem with communication and I've realized he is controlling in certain ways. When we were talking he ended up talking to me about our sex life and said to me "having sex with you is like fucking a pillow". Im at my wits end. I really dont want a divorce but I have no idea what to do. What do I do to help him change because I feel like im going to therapy to try to get better and change but he isnt trying to change. How can I fill his cup if mine is empty?