My husband and I have been together just over 10 years. Married for 4 of those and we have 2 children together. A 15 month old boy and almost 4 year old boy.
I find myself just angry, annoyed, frustrated with him constantly. I feel more like I’m expected to be his mother than his wife.
He calls it “traditional” expecting me to cook for him, clean the house, do the laundry, take “care” of his needs, take care of the children.
I currently am about to go back to work and I already feel stressed and overwhelmed being on maternity leave dealing with everything. I can’t imagine what it will be like going back to work and managing everything still.
I’ve had many of conversations with him regarding him needing to “help” more. (I hate even saying that cause it’s not my job, it’s his responsibility too!) But it never seems to help or things change for a bit and then go back to normal. Up until a month ago I was still doing his laundry. I’ve stopped doing that and it never gets put away even after he does it. He just doesn’t seem to care about anything! Doesn’t clean up after himself, can’t do anything without me asking and even then it takes me asking multiple times or sometimes I just say fuck it and do it myself. I’m just so exhausted. I feel like I have 3 children not 2! I don’t feel a lot of connection to him anymore and I know that has a lot to do with having young children but it’s literally put off until he won’t leave me alone and then I tell him to be quick.
I just feel like sometimes it’s be easier to be alone. I worry about what that looks like a lot. Things like selling our house, splitting our assets, where would I live, could I handle both the boys on my own a lot with no help? It’s all scary. Although, he doesn’t help much with the kids it’s still something and I do get overwhelmed easily with my oldest son as he’s very attached to me and needy. And honestly I’d still end up with the kids the majority of the time just cause my job and work hours.
I honestly just don’t know. At what point do you just stop having those same conversations and them going nowhere so you give up?