I’m a 32M, married to my wife (30F) for a little over 3 years. We are still married and not formally separated, but our relationship is under severe strain.
Over the past several months, my wife’s behavior toward me has become emotionally abusive — frequent verbal attacks, manipulation, and constant conflict. I’ve also come across things that have caused serious trust issues, including interactions that strongly suggest extramarital involvement. This has left me anxious, confused, and constantly second-guessing myself.
During the same period, I lost my job, which has added financial pressure and uncertainty. Because of escalating family conflict, I’ve also had to relocate multiple times, which has been destabilizing and exhausting.
At the same time, my mother (59F) is on dialysis and has recently filed for divorce from my father due to long-term abuse. I am closely involved in supporting her emotionally, medically, and with practical matters. She is unwell and vulnerable, and there isn’t anyone else who can consistently take on this responsibility.
My wife and my mother do not get along, which has made everything harder. When I focus on supporting my mother, conflict with my wife escalates. When I try to focus on my marriage, I feel like I’m abandoning my mother during a critical phase of her life. With job loss and relocations on top of this, I feel like I’m constantly in survival mode.
I’m emotionally drained and struggling to think clearly about long-term decisions. I don’t want to stay in a marriage out of guilt or fear, but I also don’t want to make irreversible decisions while I’m overwhelmed.
My questions are:
1.How do you evaluate whether a marriage with emotional abuse and broken trust is worth continuing?
2.Is it reasonable to prioritize a seriously ill parent temporarily, even if it strains a marriage?
3.How do you make decisions when marriage, career, and family are all unstable at the same time?
I’m open to honest input and different perspectives.
TL;DR: 32M married to 30F for 2+ years. Experiencing emotional abuse and serious trust issues in marriage. Recently lost my job and had to relocate multiple times. Also caring for a mother on dialysis who is divorcing an abusive spouse. Feeling torn and exhausted, looking for advice on how to prioritize and decide next steps.