My partner (M37) and I (F38) are together now for 5 months in a committed relationship. When we have just started to get to know each other, he mentioned he "has a past". I didn't pay any particular attention to this as everybody has a past at our age.
I was also immediately very transparent about my past – I had 2 relationships, lasting 3 yrs and 8yrs, never had casual sex, I see sex as a very intimate experience, never used dating apps, so overall quite reserved and conservative.
As time went by, he started to share more details about himself – he had multiple partners ( I don't know the number, but I would say +50 if I had to guess) one nigh stands, group sex. This information caused a lot of discomfort for me and triggered insecurities, but I have decided to start going to therapy to find a way how to accept this because I don't want to reject somebody because of their past.
However yesterday, my boyfriend again told me there is a dark past he has and which he feels he should tell me about at some point, but doesn't want to do it now as he thinks I would not be able to process it. He said this "dark past" refers to relationships/sex.
This means that info I already know is not something he considers "dark". This created a lot of anxiety in me, because now I literally imagine various radical things (e.g. was he involved in prostitution in some way). I am scared now I am with a person whom I absolutely don't know. I am terrified of a heartbreak as I got very emotionally involved ( after the 8 year relationship it took me 4 years to heal and start dating again and he was the first and only I dated since then) and I already looked at him as my future husband.
*TL;DR; :
Should I insist he tells me what his dark past is? How to know when to draw a line and decide "something is too much" and put love aside? I thank you in advance for any advice you might have. *.