i’m 21M. we were long distance from the start. from the beginning, it felt real. we talked every day, slept on calls, shared everything. she was my safe space and honestly, my smartest, most talkative counterpart. we could go deep on religion, agnosticism, science, space, anything. i’ve never had a connection like that before.
things went south because i messed up. we were open about having friends of the opposite gender, but i crossed a line by talking to another girl and keeping it secret. nothing physical happened, but hiding it broke the trust. she found out by going through my phone via a long distance couple app. after that, everything changed.
after the breakup, i spiraled hard. guilt consumed me. i even tried helping another girl who was in a dark place, and now i regret talking to her too. i haven’t talked to her since and i don’t know if she’s okay.
my ex was bisexual because of me, and after the breakup she turned fully lesbian and went through a “hating men” phase. i don’t know if she’s still in it. i miss the connection we had, and part of me wants to rebuild some of it, even if it’s just friendship.
recently, i created a new tiktok account to post some alter-thoughts. i wasn’t expecting anything, but she actually messaged me first. it was friendly but sarcastic, she used the 🥀 emoji. i feel a mix of excitement and anxiety. part of me wonders if she still has any feelings, but i know she might also just be checking if i moved on.
i don’t want to mess this up again, but i’m not sure how to approach it. should i be patient, slow, and focus on rebuilding trust? or should i just step back? i need real advice from people who have been in similar situations.
TL;DR: long distance relationship, i crossed the line emotionally with another girl, ex found out through an app, we broke up, i spiraled, she turned fully lesbian after breakup, recently reached out to me on tiktok, i’m excited but anxious, want advice on how to handle her reaching out and maybe rebuild some connection.