I (19F) have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (19M) for almost three years, but there is an ongoing issue in our relationship.
We met at the gym. I was interested in him at first, and after some time I gathered the courage to message him. We started talking, seeing each other, and eventually began dating. When I met him, he told me I was one of the first women he had ever been involved with in that way, and that he was a virgin. I wasn’t a virgin anymore and had been sexually active for years. I didn’t see this as a problem, since I believed it was something that could be worked through with time.
After we started dating, we tried to have sex several times, but he was never able to go through with it. He would lose his erection every time and said it was due to nervousness and insecurity, since it was his first time. I understood and reassured him that it was okay and that we could try again later. However, after many attempts, the same thing kept happening.
We were intimate in other ways, but that wasn’t enough for me. I wanted more, and I didn’t feel fully satisfied.
Over time, after so many failed attempts and always hearing that it was just nervousness, I started to lose my desire for him. After about two years of this, I feel like I’ve grown tired and even lost the desire to kiss him, mostly because I already expect that nothing will happen. We’ve been together for almost three years like this.
I love him. He is an amazing person and treats me very well. However, this issue has bothered me for years. I am a sexual person and intimacy is important to me, and I feel that such an important part of our relationship is missing. I don’t know how to move forward without this.
Our relationship has become cold in terms of intimacy, and I feel stuck between ending things and staying. I don’t want to break up because I care about him a lot, and I’m afraid I won’t find someone else who treats me as well as he does.
(English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes.)!!!
TL;DR: I love my boyfriend and he treats me well, but due to long-term intimacy issues and mismatched libidos, I feel frustrated and unsure whether to stay in the relationship or end it.