Been married going on 8 years. We are both 25. We have a 6 year old. We have never had any issues in our relationship like cheating, physical abuse etc. Mainly just been tired the way he talks to me and his lack of initiative in other situations I will go into.
Been in marriage counseling for almost 6 months now. It helps a little but Im at the point of only viewing him as a friend/roommate. I rarely have interest in him sexually. He has let me down by not helping with savings or financial situations and I ended up doing alot on my own financially like trying to save for a house, car, etc. I hold a lot of resentment for that as I was working full time and doing delivery on the side. He just works full time and pays his half of typical bills. Like he doesnt want to actually build something cool with me…
The last major issue is his lack of initiative when it comes to his son from a previous relationship. Let me be clear. The mother of their child and him BOTH be wrong and petty. She is a real bitter and spiteful person who likes control. In the past when she would make fun of me and disrespect me I was petty back for sure but I stopped stooping to her level like 4 years ago and been just simply supportive of coparenting and their child from a distance. Truly not my business but I do care about her and their son. Unfortunately has to be many boundaries as she has proven to be an unpredictable and toxic person who loves drama. I tried helping and going out of my way for her and their child and her other kids and she walked all over me and stabbed me in the back..
ANYWHOO long story short with that situation, the part that irritates me is he wont just save the money and take it to court to get some sort of rights. She has full custody and he has no rights as he never got his side in court. Response papers kept getting sent back. She denied a paternity test for years prior to child support case and he has proof of that . (Yes it was finally confirmed hes his) He does try to be there and calls (they live in a different state) When they come to visit he gives rides and wants to spend time with his son however she is controlling and uses their kid as a weapon against him sadly… on his side he also doesnt pay the full monthly support and is terrible with scheduling. He isnt allowed to call whenever and vice versa it has to be specific days and times and half the time the mom doesnt pick up anyways. Hes late at calling too at times and has missed a couple throughout time. She will not give him access to his son as punishment, unless shes in town and will ask him to watch all 4 of her kids so she can go party… then later try and say he isnt fit to be alone with him alone 🤦♀️ Its a total mess. Mom is just controlling and wants control over him out of spite.
They honestly are both childish idiots. She needs to cut her crap, and he needs to take her to court and stop complaining and do something about it. Should he have to do that? No but its reality in this situation…. it really bothers me he lacks intiative in many aspects of his life. Hes a great father to our child as well. I most definitely feel if he had the same access to his other son he would have more ability to be there, in contact, and around and is great to him as well. If I try to help give advice nicely he tells me to stfu lol. That goes back to just how he talks to me. Im over it. But he is my best friend… what do I do!?!