Sorry I feel very sad and some of this is because I don't know where else to go. To give some context, married for 15+ years with kids, high paying job and everything I could ever ask for.
I will just share the latest incident (there have been many, many more): I was telling a bedtime story, and wife is so insecure that she calls me a nanny of her kids. I asked her what if I called her the cook for my kids, she went on to disrespect me and my family, saying a lot of hurtful things.
I feel this is not acceptable, yet I can't find a way for her to realize this – I have tried stopping to talk to her, we already sleep in different bedrooms(which I started to avoid hearing taunts before bed, resulting into arguments in front of kids). This attitude of her vs me is hurting our relationship, kids and I feel I am stuck.
We tried counseling, she refuses to do it together because then the counselor took my side. Moreover she recently started working after a 15 year break, and even though her salary is roughly 20x lesser than mine keeps comparing it (I have always said that what we earn is for the entire family).
I really don't want to divorce her, it will shatter my kids and they are my lifeline.
My attraction towards her has dropped like a rock – and it affects our sex life too ( In the past it was me intiating but for the past month she has been so rude and disrespectful that I have stopped and now it seems it's going towards a dead bedroom)
At this point I really don't know what to do.