I honestly don’t know how to word this so here goes nothing:
I (25F) have been struggling with sex for like a year now and I don’t really understand why.
I’ve been in a stable relationship for about three years now and prior to that I have had several sexual encounters and I’ve never really had any problems, but as of last year sex has become a very stress inducing thing in my life.
the idea of having sex is not appealing to me most of the times, but not as in I’m never horny or I’m not interested, it’s more like I start to panic when I sense that my partner would like to have sex or if he straight up asks me to, it’s like my brain now sees it has some kind of chore and I cannot get in the mood.
I think one other thing to take in consideration is that I very often experience pain during penetration especially at the beginning, even if properly lubricated and after foreplay, so it’s possible that one of the factors is that I don’t want to be hurt so I just avoid sex altogether.
that being said, I feel like the main problem is psychological and it could be related to a number of other reasons such as depression, anxiety and adhd (my mental health is outstanding, I know)
I also am very unstable when it comes to hormones, I started taking the pill when I was 16 and it kinda ruined my life so I stopped at 21 and my period hasn’t come back since (all the gynecologist said was that it messed up my cycle and hormones and that I now have an higher amount of testosterone than I should have)
couple disclaimers:
I have enjoyed sex very much in the past (with my current bf and before) and when I occasionally do get in the mood now I still end up having a good time
my partner is very understanding of the situation and the stress doesn’t come from his part at all
I’m bisexual and I’ve sometimes asked myself if I’m actually a lesbian, but I think I’ve since gone past this question cause I am attracted to my boyfriend and I love him
I’m planning to start therapy and also I know I need to go to a gynecologist asap, I’m making this post in the hope to maybe find someone that has experienced kind of the same thing