This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.
This post will be moderated, so if you see something breaking the rules, please report it.
41 comments
First time I wrote here was 2 years ago my 30th birthday was coming and I said “I thought heartbreaks would be easier as you get older” Now my 32th birthday is coming and after the major heartbreak I mentioned I had some more. Now trying to overcome another minor heartbreak.
It doesn’t get easier but I appreciate this community helping me getting through them.
Thanks to all of you and I wish you the best in life and love in 2026 💙🎊🎉
It’s funny seeing everyone’s year recap posts on IG and other socials. Meanwhile I’m like: “I became diabetic and almost died from that, had spine surgery, had a stroke, and was told I have two different cancers inside me” 😂 happy New Year’s Eve!
This isn’t meant to sound bitter. It genuinely is funny to me because life is so crazy. Other ppl had struggles this year and I see them talking about it. But I’m thankful that my friends didn’t have as much of a roller coaster as I did. It was not a good time lol but at least I’m talking to a super cute woman now! There’s the silver lining
Hi everyone, just looking for some advice on meeting up an old flame from a year ago. I’m M39 and she’s F34. Any insight is appreciated.
My expectations going into this are low. We met in July of 2024. She’s a busy mom of 3 who also runs a small business and she works part time as a nurse. We went out on 4 dates and only slept together once during the time. She was very sweet and down to earth. She had a very calm energy and she loved reading. She didn’t have a tv and turned off all her social media. She mentioned interest in a long term relationship to me when we dated but she went on vacation one day and I never heard back from her. I called once but no return call or text.
Two weeks later I got into a serious relationship with someone else but it ended in oct this year. So I messaged the nurse mom on a whim this past week hoping to rekindle something and to my surprise we’ve been texting steadily. She loved that I remembered little details about her life and were meeting up soon.
I feel like this date is just to catch up and there’s no intention of her actually pursuing anything? Do I ask during the date if she’s interested in picking back up or wait for her to make the move? She’s seems overworked and doesn’t have much free time. I’m pretty much the same person I was when I met her but my last relationship still stings a little bit. I’m a little more weary this year from life events. Do I not mention my ex unless she asks? I’m tired boss.
Over the last couple of months I’ve been reflecting a lot on what I need to work on in myself in order to improve my chances of finding a girlfriend, and I’ve come up with three broad areas of focus:
1) Meeting new people
2) Flirting appropriately
3) Emotional openness
Surprisingly, #3 is actually the one I’ve already made the most progress on (there’s a comment I made in another thread recently that goes into a bit more detail for anyone interested). All three of these are areas where over the years I’ve built up a lot of internal resistance without even realising it, so the work there is twofold: Overcoming those internal barriers (which takes a lot of effort) and developing the skills in those areas.
The first one is the one I’ve been aware of for the longest (recognising in my early 30s that I wasn’t doing enough to meet new people), but the other two I’ve only realised in the last two months as I started suspecting there was more to the process than just meeting new people. I’ve listed these in the order that I recognised them – #2 came about when I was speaking to someone I met on the r4r sub and they responded with “You’re not very flirty are you?” when it became clear I was oblivious to their attempts to steer the conversation in that way. That was a real slap-in-the-face type of wake up call and in the spirit of #3 I admitted the difficulties I have in that regard. They encouraged me to try anyway, which I’m grateful for, but it’s still an area I’m VERY weak in at the moment.
I don’t know whether I’m going to be successful in overcoming these challenges, but this coming year is the last chance I have to find a relationship before turning 40 (my birthday is in January) and I really don’t want it to be part of my life story that I was single for the entirety of my 30s. On the other hand I still have unreasonably high standards for the quality of a relationship so there’s a chance I’m going to fail here just because I won’t allow myself to settle for less than what I want. I’m really backing myself into a corner here and something is going to have to give if I want to avoid the despair of failure. I just hope that something is the weakness I need to overcome in all three of these areas. In the spirit of #3, I’m very scared about the next 12½ months to be honest.
What are the single ppl doing tonight for NYE? I think I might cry and go to bed early lol
Have been in a great back and forth with a guy on the apps for the past week. Consistent, cute, a little flirty. He’s leaving on a trip today, then I’ll be out of town. We’ve already agreed to meet up when we’re both back in the same city, but no concrete plans.
I shot my shot this morning and gave him my number unprompted. No text yet and I feel a little silly being so nervous about someone I’ve never met in person. But I figure if he ghosts me from here he probably wasn’t worth it anyway. Here’s to 2026!
Update: eeeek he texted! I’m way too excited about this…someone talk me back down to Earth? Or maybe hype me up?
I’m approaching app dating differently lately (in it for the plot, the fun and less intentional) and found myself talking with someone right around my age. We’ve yet to meet up (probably in the next week though) but the conversation just clicks. Hoping it translates in person because this is rare for me, I usually leave people on read for multiple hours to days early on but this one has me texting throughout the day happily.
Not me trying to internet creep the girl he cheated on me with. To what end, I don’t know. But damn. It would be with a skinny blonde wouldn’t it?
What were your biggest wins of 2025?
Wondering how other recovering avoidants / IPV survivors deal with new relationships. This is the first time in six years that I feel like there’s potential and I’m just so stressed out I think I might cry. New bf just left after spending four days at my place – he’s expected to celebrate new year’s eve at his parents’ – and I feel drained. But I wasn’t stressed two days ago – I was elated and in love. I hate my brain. I wish I was able to feel like other people feel instead of whatever this is.
I’m getting in my head about my second date tonight big time. I’m not going to get in to every wild thought popping into my head as the hours creep by. I just need to tell someone 😂. I’m just going to be myself and have fun but right now I’m struggling not to be self-critical and honestly just want to burst into tears. Doesn’t help that my period just started so I’ve got that to deal with.
Part of me just wants to scrap the plans and not even try. Self sabotage much? I’m not going to but it’s slightly tempting. Why is this so hard?!
I’ve spent a lot of time recently thinking about how I showed up in my last relationship.
I’m like 5/10 happy with myself. I’m not absolving my ex of people pleasing her way to resentment, but I could have self-corrected well enough to have protected what we built.
It’s hard and it’s probably for the best that it happened (3 or so months ago now), but it is frustrating because it was simply fixable and (even though this is a story I’m telling myself) I would have spent a lot of time working towards those aims. I was already trying to get better.
None of us are perfect or mind-readers, but what I will say is that I’m looking forward to continuing with the work I’m doing. I want to be happier and the work will lead to that. My partner will benefit, sure. That’s not the point though, the point is healing.
It sucks holding up the mirror, but a breakup is rarely a one way street. Everyone could have done better, but the only thing I can control is me. That’s simply all I’m trying to remember going into 2026. I need to control my own actions, decisions, words, and behaviors.
My ex out here getting hook up’s off facebook and God knows what else from where else was just the push I needed.
As much as it sucked it when I found out, it truly ended up helping me.
Unsure of what to make of a guy I’ve been on a couple of dates with. Didn’t message much before the first date (I asked him out–wanted to meet sooner rather than later because he was really attractive in his pics & I thought he might be a catfish), so wasn’t really expecting much to begin with and was honestly surprised the date happened. Conversation was a bit awkward but he admitted he was shy and hadn’t done much dating on the apps. He seemed nice and no red flags, though, and I found it kind of endearing. Exchanged numbers, he texted me making sure I was back safe and suggested a second date but nothing specific.
Didn’t hear from him for 6 days after that so I assumed he wasn’t interested. We text back and forth for a bit and plan a second date. Again, I’m kind of surprised he showed up as he lives 90 minutes away so it’s a pretty big time commitment; he also insisted on paying for everything even though I offered. This date was more comfortable and went a lot better. He suggested a third date before he leaves on a work trip for a week (which he has a lot to do to prepare for still) and texted me after he got home that he felt like he should have kissed me but always reads the signals too late. He again asks to see me soon, I suggest a day, he says definitely but no firm plans. I offered to come his way this time.
The day before the date, though, he asks to postpone it until after his trip. There still hasn’t really been much communication in between, but that’s nothing new at this point. I haven’t initiated text chats either, though, so it’s not like he is ignoring me or anything. Usually, men who are into me are more communicative and canceling a third date never feels like a good sign…but a lot of those fizzled out fast, and they weren’t people I’d describe as shy either. So I can’t tell if he’s not really that interested or just kind of…bad at dating and awkward lol. I suppose only time will tell.
grrrrRRRRAAAAAAGHHHIHIUFNGUWENWEJfuckDFUVNIOUNFNWIJF!!!!
now we play the waiting game. got a text last from a gal I’ve had three almost supernatural dates with.
Things with us have been going extremely well and, absent any landmines or glaring reflags, I had zero concerns about whether she liked me or what direction things were headed with us. A couple days ago texting started slowing down a lot, which did start to put me more on alert, but still felt pretty solid about everything.
Then I get a text from her last night saying that she really likes me a lot, but also wanted to be honest about the fact that just before she met me she also started seeing another guy (who I’m certain isn’t nearly as cool handsome and funny as me). Apologized for the slow replies the last few days, explained that the other guy just asked her about exclusivity and that she’s really struggling with the decision; thinks we have a great connection, but wasn’t sure about what my long term relationship plans are. Said she doesn’t usually multidate, but wanted to give it a shot because it’s been hard finding a good connection, then said some pretty nice stuff about me that was presumably a mix of sincere and trying to be reassuring or something. Said she wanted to hear my thoughts.
I mentioned I was gonna bring some of this stuff up next time we met. Told her I feel like we’ve connected very well in a very short time, that this was pretty rare for me, that I tried multi dating once and it wasn’t for me either, that casual dating never really resonated with me and that I’m looking for an actual relationship; not that I assume every date is going to turn into a relationship, but I take my connections seriously and until I’m sure it’s not meant to be I’m secretly cheering for things to work out. Mentioned that I wasn’t gonna push for anything as big as a full blown relationship at this stage, but that as far as exclusivity goes I’m already there. Added that if she needs time to make her decision that it’s OK, and it wouldn’t do anybody any good to make a decision impulsively or under pressure.
She said that was a sigh of relief and had kind of assumed I’m the type to keep things casual and date multiple people (which was kind of hilarious to me because this entire year there was only one person I even wanted to get physical with until I met this gal). Agreed she should take time to think about it.
I told her there’s no secret to how I’m hoping she’ll decide, but whatever she decides there’s no hard feelings on my end and it’s still been nothing but a joy getting to know her.
She was appreciative and reciprocated the sentiment.
Ugh. Fuck man. I really like this chick. I’m not bitter about any of this; it’s just the reality of online dating. But this came from out of left field. I think I’m also feeling just a touch let down and feeling some second-guessing about whether our connection was actually unique if this decision is really so difficult for her. Not that I’m taking that sentiment too seriously; it does seem clear to me that we were getting along extremely well, and it’s been abundantly clear, from day one right through last night, that she does really like me a lot. But, for now, these are the dumb thoughts my monkey brain is generating at me, and it doesn’t help that there’s genuinely something on the line.
This year was crazy for dating. I’ve had a few short term relationships, I’ve had many first, second and third dates, a few situationships 🤮. I’ve learned a lot, I’ve grown, I’ve experienced new pain, and healed from old and new. I learned about boundaries, about walking away when I know it wasn’t right regardless of the feelings, to put myself first, to not lose track of friends or fitness or work or my self when I do start in a new relationship. Part of me wants this dating adventure to be over and just find my person, but part of me knows that I had to do all of this growth still. I definitely learned a lot about self worth and standards. Even though the last few months specifically were very emotionally difficult as far as dating and love, I am excited for what’s to come. I’m excited to go on more dates, to build more self confidence, to fortify my boundaries and standards, and to hopefully start a new healthy and happy relationship. I have a first date at a local coffee house planned for Saturday with someone I’ve been chatting with for like 2 weeks. Normally I’d never talk this long with someone without meeting but due to work, then sickness, then holidays and travel, we haven’t had a chance. The texting is pretty neutral, like I don’t feel super strong feelings or attachment ect, just a nice calm interest. I’m excited. Happy new year everyone!
Raise your hand if you’re simply obsessed with *Heated Rivalry* and what that kind of love to find you! (Minus the like 10-year situationship aspect.)
Last night I won a huge Grand Jackpot at my local casino…but I’m sad.
This probably the most insane thing that’s ever happened to me in my entire life. Last night I won the biggest jackpot available on a slot machine last night, tens of thousands of dollars. I wasn’t even supposed to be there, but I missed the freeway exit to where I was supposed to go and just stopped by there on a whim.
Don’t get me wrong, I was elated in the moment. Then I realized I had no one to celebrate with. All these strangers gathered around me to see what happened, but I turned to my right wishing there a special someone there I could hug and celebrate with.
All my friends are married and I’ve never had a girlfriend before. Dating for me has been abysmal to say the least.
The holidays have come and gone and new years is right around the corner. I’ll be going to a friend’s New Year’s party where I already know I’ll be the only single person there.
I’m just tired of being single. I’m tired of never having anyone to share moments with. I’m tired of never feeling wanted or desired back. Money is one thing, but it can’t buy love or that special person. 😔
Happy new years.
I’ve just had to keep my dignity again and decline what felt like an insulting invite after a brutal year of dating.
This was a last-minute New Year’s invite with vague “you can pass by my friend’s building party and if it’s dead we’ll go back to his apartment as my friend is out of town and I’m staying there for the night, I’ll bring my own bedding so I don’t leave a mess behind”.
We are both late 30s, pushing 40. Supposedly intentionally dating 🙄
For context: we met once, the night he confidently approached me and asked for my number. We’ve had one phone call and exchanged a few texts since. That’s it. And this is what’s being offered..
I declined calmly, but honestly I’m fed up. Fed up of people defaulting to low effort, convenience based plans that blur boundaries and assume access under the guise of ‘come chill if you want’. Fed up of having to be the one who says no in order to preserve self-respect.
At this point…. It’s not even about missing out on him. It’s about how common this has become, and how demoralising it feels after genuinely trying to date with intention.
2025: you sucked stinky, sweaty, infected balls on the dating front.
I used to use this sub a lot when I was dating (on an old deleted account). I want to share my experience now that I’m on the other side. I just got engaged!
I started dating as a proper grownup for the first time at 33 after a marriage and a long relationship. My only other dating was in college before dating apps existed. My marriage ended four years ago. Im 37 now. I dated a LOT. I was on apps a lot, SO MANY dates. Lots and lots of unpleasant surprises in both men and myself – wrangling with dormant attachment issues in myself was tough. I had an initial manic funtime phase, then I was celibate for nine months, then very much slowed my dating and was much more selective. The Facebook group “burned haystack dating method” helped a lot.
Last summer, I was going on dates occasionally, tried restarting something with an old fling, then I went on another Bumble date. Just another date of many, but it just takes one! It was an amazing first date, but I’ve had other amazing first dates, then it just kept developing into this no-brainer knowing in my gut. I just knew I wanted him, and I told him, I stayed honest the whole time. I just decided to finally be honest and totally myself in dating and let things fail if they need to fail. I am so over the feminine passivity of waiting for men to do such and such. I asked him on the second date. And it just kept going. We DTR after like three weeks, he met my kid after six months, he moved in at a year. Engaged at 16 months.
While dating, I had spent time writing about and meditating on how I want to feel in a relationship and the qualities of myself and my partner in the optimal relationship. I think that really helped. I feel like we have it. We both have baggage, but we also both WANT TO WORK. We know things will be hard, things are not perfect, but our mutual respect, solid belief in each others goodwill toward the other, and commitment to do the working through/figuring out means we feel solid.
I think a lot of people, including myself have a fantasy of the perfect person where everything is blissful and they magically save you and make your life perfect. It’s a fantasy! He has to be right for me and I have to be right for him, and then we do the work.
His green flag qualities:
– queer (he’s examined his gender and sexuality so he feels very comfortable and flexible in his own maleness)
– had a very long prior relationship, so he has been committed long term before
– longstanding close friendships
– respectful and curious
– loves his mom
– generous, nurturing, not timid about expressing his emotions
– proactive in caretaking
– fantastic lover
– not sure if this is a green flag, but he is a few years younger than me!
My (35m) last LTR (16 months) was with a woman (29f) who hadn’t been in a LTR before. Went on a date last night with a 30f who had dated a bunch but hadn’t been in a LTR before either (has gone through a massive glow up the last four years).
It just struck me as interesting. Is this becoming more of the norm?
They were both incredibly attractive, well educated, and super cool women.
Saw my hookup yesterday and asked if he wanted to go on a date or keep things casual. He sat thinking for about a minute and eventually said he’s not in a place to date, etc etc
I did expect as much given that his profile expressly states he’s “looking for sex with nice people” but I felt the need to ask.
He sent me a nice text today, thanking me for asking and saying he’s annoyed at himself because “you’re so someone I would want to date but I don’t think I want/am ready for a new relationship”
He’s been honest since the beginning but it’s hard to not put in a silent “with you” at the end and imagine he’d date a different guy, isn’t that always the way? But it doesn’t benefit me to think like that.
I might continue to sleep with him, I might not. He said he understands if I don’t want to meet up anymore and that there’s no pressure for an answer.
Right now I’m letting myself feel my emotions and not beating myself up for being vulnerable or having unaligned desires. Seeing friends in a bit and hoping it will take my mind off him!
nye is my absolute favorite holiday of the year and i’m known to go all out for it with an insane dress, bougie reservations, impossible to get into rooftop parties, the whole nine yards, but this year i’m genuinely so excited to see an early show and then go home with my man to drink champagne and eat caviar by ourselves. i’ve never been so in love!
I can’t do another year of what I did this past year. Hmmmmm
Really annoying how you match with someone on OLD and trade a few messages and nothing happens….. then a few months pass and I match with them again and nothing happens. REPEAT
Sorry for the double post. But I hope everyone here has a safe New Year’s Eve! I am going to help the girl I’m talking to paint her new house. She doesn’t want to do anything for NYE as she has a slipped disc and feels pain after a while from standing.
What plans do yall have? Even if it’s staying home.
So many family/friends in their early 40s are separating and I’m so glad to not be dating rn lol
Had some good chats with a guy from the apps Thursday to Saturday, planned a meetup for this coming Saturday. We logged off Saturday night, I texted Sunday, and haven’t a peep from him.
I’m making other plans for Saturday.
Person I was speaking to dumped me last night. Things were going great and I saw a future with him. He asked about a sensitive topic and I let him know I was uncomfortable discussing it currently. Then a few days later he said he didn’t want to see me. 29 years old and never had a boyfriend. Not looking hopeful going into the new year.
I have to admit, this is often a fairly difficult time of year for me because I spend it at home in Scotland (while living in Finland). It means that any connections or dating situations which have started in the lead-up to Christmas essentially get put on hold for two weeks, which is a bit stressful on its own (especially given that I’m usually fairly anxious about this stuff even on a normal day).
Add to that the whole ***vibe*** of Christmas and New Years being quite couple-oriented and it leaves me constantly stressing and feeling insecure about people I’ve been seeing.
And I mean, I have two girls planned for a second date when I get back to Finland and two potential first dates as well. All of whom seem very lovely and genuine prospects. But my mind is just constantly telling me that none of them will work out and it’ll all be business and singleness as usual when I get home.
But, I do know it’s like… 85% in my head… ANYWAY!
Hope everyone on here has a Happy New Year tonight!
I went out on dinner date last night. He looked even better in person. I really enjoyed our conversation. There was some flirting going on and I loved it. Before the night ended, he sent a message saying he had a good time and would like to meet up again. I’m super excited for our next date! Side note, I have been having my first dates at a restaurant near my home. Every time I go in, it’s the same wait staff. I’ve had 6 different first dates at this restaurant. The staff never let on that they know or act familiar with me. I appreciate that lol.
Second date arranged with the guy I will now call A. He’s quite proactive with planning things, and for both dates has immediately picked somewhere and said he’ll book a table which I really appreciate. I’m used to being the planner so it’s nice to take a back seat.
He’s just with work over the next couple of weeks so won’t be seeing him until next weekend, but I’m keen to take this one slower than I have in the past so that works for me and so far it has been nothing but green flags. He’s texting me daily without it being overwhelming or feeling lovebomby. I’m cautiously optimistic.
I have a few other dates lined up (I’ve found multi dating really helps with early dating anxiety) but I’m definitely developing a crush on A. We will see.
I feel compelled to share my 2025 experience, sort of a rant, but feel free to delete if not allowed. Early in the year I developed feelings for a dear friend of mine. I am sort of new to this city and don’t have many friends here, so I made the decision to not try for more and try and detach (I was also not really getting any signs that she could be into me). This didn’t pan out too well as she needed a lot of emotional support for a few months with something in her life, which kept me engaged for quite awhile, with the feelings really growing stronger; I really was (am) in love with this person. Anyways what I experienced in those and following months I can now attribute to somewhat avoidant tendencies. She had a lot of moments where I thought maybe she did feel similarly, immediately followed by weeks where I could barely get a text back. This really messed with me (anxiously attached) and my self esteem, but time heals all wounds and eventually I got to a place where I was pretty ok with everything, fueled in no small part by a summer filled with travelling. Later on she kind of made a drunk confession that we should give it a shot, which I decided not to act on as I wasn’t sure she remembered at all. Later, also drunk, she pulled it back and said we should just be friends (without me prompting the previous conversation, so obviously she remembered). This caused a relapse of sorts where all the self doubt and whatnot came back, and really the last couple of months I’ve just been trying to deal with that. Needless to say I didn’t do much “normal” dating in 2025, I think I went on one date and spent maybe a month total on the apps, in a few day increments. But now I feel like I’m ready to commit to trying again. No advice needed but I would welcome any kind words of recovery or finding love after similar experiences in your mid-late 30s (turning 36 early in the year). Best of luck to everyone here in 2026!
My NYE/NYD checklist:
– catch up on dishes
– laundry/fresh sheets
– 2026 collage/vision board
– cinnamon rolls from scratch for NYD breakfast
Dishwasher is running as we speak, laundry will be next, I’ll start the cinnamon rolls tonight and bake them in the morning, then start my collage while they’re in the oven! (Seems unwise to eat one and touch paper at the same time 😂)
There’s other cleaning, organizing, and odds/ends to be done, but I’d rather leave this little checklist as doable as possible.
eye contact is SO intense. what’s going thru your head when you look someone in the eye for more than three seconds? how is anyone relaxed doing this? is it possible to sustain platonic eye contact? i feel like i’m just staring and thinking dontlookawaydontlookawaydontlookaway or trying not to giggle, even after we’ve established that we’re into each other.
yes, i’m neurospicy.
31m theres this girl i added on facebook years ago that i didnt start running into in person until the last year or so and ive always had a crush on her. Usually see her at the gym.
Saw her sunday evening on the beach when i was running. Wanted to say hi but couldn’t do it. Also couldn’t let it go so i went ahead and messaged her on facebook. She responded immediately but we didnt really interact. The next day by sheer luck she was at the gym same time as me. I forced myself to go talk to her and to me it went really well. We had a good conversation for about 5 minutes, she was asking me questions and it felt like there was some mutual interest.
So later that day i messaged her on facebook saying i was off work on new years day and that i would be running on the beach and that I’d like her to join me. I also said if not I’d like to run with you another time thats convenient for you.
She responded, “hey I’m actually going to be visiting my brother.”.
I said “no worries, if you ever wanna just go for a walk on the beach that’d be nice too.”
She hasnt responded, which is fine but im afraid i missed a step or im not being certain or forward enough (or even too forward). I wonder if i should outright tell her that i want to go on a date. We’re both very good athletes. A run or walk on the beach is something i really enjoy and id like to share it with her and get to know her. Im doing my best not to get obsessive but this is the first time since i was a teenager that i had the thing where you visualize your future with someone else.
Should i leave her alone for now? If i see her in person i will absolutely talk to her again though.
Not every woman on Hinge gives you their IG for a follow. Especially if you’ve already had a conversation with her and YOU initiated it. A guy literally asked me for an alternative means to chat I gave him my IG and told him I’d be taking a break soon anyway. He said and I quote,” Well if you’re taking a break soon you don’t need me to follow you. ” Like dude, ask for clarification at least. I get it, some women just want followers but I don’t care. I have less than 10 posts on IG, I feel SAFER giving that up than my number or Facebook. It’s just do irritating that people jump to conclusions sometimes.
i let go the guy who hasn’t replied to a text in three days.
Home from the holidays as of late last night, kids back with their mom. I’m alone for the first time in two weeks and it is nice. I think a nap is in my near-term future.
My neighbor flew to Puerto Rico on a whim right after Christmas, so I assume the 5 hour drive she did with her ex and their kids went well and didn’t mentally destroy her at all like she was worried it would.
Going to a NYE thing that a Hinge-date-turned-platonic invited me to. She handled all the details and gave me the itinerary last night as there are a few changes of venue. She is ending the night at my favorite bar, which is also very close to my house, and she asked if she could bring a friend she thought I might like. She is a very considerate woman.
She has a philosophy of just doing “the next right thing” in meeting new people rather than concerning oneself so much with the big picture, which I am going to strive to implement more in 2026. We’ll see. That would very much be out of character for me.
First date this Saturday since my divorce back in 2023. Going out for lunch and perusing through a comic book store. I feel quite comfortable talking to this guy for a little over a week so far and we’re vibing VERY well together, but I’m making an effort to leave codependent tendencies behind and avoid moving too fast. I insisted we split whatever costs for food on Saturday and keep it casual and low-pressure, and he agreed.
Drop some first date red and green flags I should look out for! I might go buy a new outfit tomorrow to prepare.
My ex (36f) and I (35m) broke up November 23. Together for seven years. She moved in with me about two years in. I have a daughter who’s now 14.
Got a text from my daughter that they’re gonna go out to eat or get coffee on Sunday.
Last year they hung out and did pumpkin carving together – which made sense as it was both of their favorite things to do.
I say all this to say… when my daughter texted me I was like wtf why would they do that after all of this time? And then I realized it’s only been two years and I no longer have any ability to assess time lmfao
After I was able to get my bearings together… I realized that time really does heal things. There have been times where I wake up after a dream and yearn for her but those are far and few between. I still care for her deeply and would jump back into a relationship with her if she asked.
But I also know the reality of where we’re at in our lives, my failures in our relationship, and why it could never work out. While I’ve done a lot of work to improve myself in the areas where I failed her, I’m still not where I could look her in the eyes and say I’m deserving of her love and capable of doing what’s required to truly mend the wounds of the past.
I just told my daughter that it’s cool/offered transportation and then checked in on how she’s feeling about it which she responded just like any 14 year old would lol “uh good. Okay thanks”
Love sucks, uggggh why do I crave it so much