(throwaway account)
I (35F) have been with my husband (42M) for 8 years, married 4. We have 2 kids, 3.5yo and 1yo girls.
Last night, after many drinks, we got into a disagreement that escalated. After trying to calm things down, I finally broke and cursed at him and he told me not to do that again or there would be consequences. I asked if he was going to hit me. He told me he wasn't sure and that I'd have to see. I calmly said, "ok f*** you." He then pushed me by my throat where I fell back into the bed. He's never put a hand on me before, but he's struggled with anger issues in the past (though he's been putting a lot of work in to overcome those issues to the point that I thought he was fully past them).
Not long after the incident, he snapped back to reality. He was/is incredibly apologetic. He agreed to leave the house last night per my request. On his own, he's decided to quit drinking, has reached out to his therapist, and is looking into more intensive anger management programs. He's also agreed to do whatever makes me most comfortable and I've decided he should move out. We will separate and he will come by to help with the kids. He claims he will support me during this separation and understands it may end in divorce. He is remorseful.
Like so many others who have been put in this situation, I still love him. But I am also mindful of statistics surrounding recidivism. With separation and him working on himself, is there any hope for a future reconciliation? I know all of the negative stories, but just wondering if anyone has ever been successful pursuing a relationship (even if it's at a later time). Regardless of feedback, we will be separating, so no need to tell me to "get out," etc.