I’m hoping to hear from people, especially women, who might relate to this from the other side.
I (26M) was in a relationship for almost a year with someone (31F) I met through a dating app. From my perspective, it was the healthiest relationship I’ve had. We communicated well, didn’t fight, treated each other with respect, and genuinely cared about each other.
She often expressed feeling insecure in the relationship, not because of anything I did wrong, but because she felt I “deserved better.” She was older than me, had kids from a past relationship, and worried about what my family would think. I always reassured her that I chose her and that I accepted her fully.
Despite these insecurities coming up occasionally, we always talked through them and things returned to normal… until suddenly they didn’t.
About a week after what felt like a very close, connected moment between us, she told me she wanted to take a break. When we talked, she doubled down on ending things entirely. She said I hadn’t done anything wrong, that I was a great partner, and that this was about her needing to work on herself. She also made it clear she didn’t want any contact going forward.
That’s what I can’t wrap my head around. How does someone go from expressing deep connection and future oriented feelings to cutting off all contact within days, without a clear explanation?
I’m not looking to blame her or convince myself she’s a bad person. I’m genuinely trying to understand what might cause someone to push away a relationship they say is good.
If you’ve ever been on the side of walking away from someone you cared about, especially because of insecurity, guilt, or feeling undeserving, I’d really appreciate hearing your perspective.