I’m a 28F, married to my husband (30M). We’ve been married for a while and recently became parents, so I might already be in a more emotionally sensitive phase but this issue has been bothering me even before that.
English is not my first language, but it is my husband’s first language, and the same goes for his friends and their spouses. To be clear, I can speak English, just not as fluently or confidently as them. I try every day to improve, I consciously speak English with my husband, read, and expose myself to it but I also realise that we often end up conversing in my mother tongue because my husband understands it well and it feels more natural and safe for me. Maybe because of this issue, my husband somehow doesn’t want me to meet his friends and their wives.
I’ve been feeling very small around my husband and his social circle. My husband always told me that his friends’ spouses are very career-driven, fluent in English, and financially well-off. Once, my husband mentioned that I would probably feel small around his best friend’s wife because she’s an investment banking manager in the UK. Another time, he said his cousin can afford expensive overseas trips because the cousin’s wife is rich which made me feel like he was indirectly saying we can’t because I don’t earn like her.
Because of these comments, I feel insecure and uncomfortable being around his friends and their spouses. Not because I’m ashamed of who I am, but because I don’t want to feel small around people who honestly mean nothing to me personally.
I’m wondering if it’s reasonable to distance myself from his social circle to protect my emotional well-being, or if this is something I should push through and address differently in my marriage.