Hi. I’m a 43F, my husband is 53M. We have two kids together.
We’ve been in a non-sexual marriage for a while now. I can literally count on one hand how many times we’ve had sex this year (less than 8). There’s also zero physical intimacy—no kissing, no touching—and communication is basically surface-level only.
Things really went downhill after he lied to me about where he was. He told me he was hospitalized for a colonoscopy, but the details didn’t add up. We had a huge fight. I said some awful things out of anger, and since then he’s been sleeping on the couch. That was 6 months ago.
He says everything is my fault. I feel like the lying is what started all of this.
Now every small thing turns into an argument. He constantly nitpicks what I do. For example, I spilled water on the floor and wiped it with a towel instead of paper towels. I said I didn’t want to waste paper towels since he’s always stressed about money. It escalated, he yelled at me, I got triggered, and I said hurtful things I shouldn’t have. I’m not proud of that.
At this point, I don’t even know where I stand in this marriage. I’m unhappy and emotionally disconnected. I think about leaving, but I’m a housewife and that makes it feel overwhelming and scary.
I just want to feel loved, wanted, and adored by my husband again. Right now, I feel lonely and stuck. I feel like he just wants to keep me to be a care taker of my children .