For context, I met a girl about eight months ago. I knew she was in a relationship, but from the start she told me she was in the process of ending it. We stayed just friends at first, partly because I had my own relationship at the time. For about three months, everything felt normal and respectful.
During that period, she broke up with her boyfriend, and shortly after, my own relationship which had already been struggling fell apart. For the past five and a half months, we’ve been very involved: sleepovers, spending a lot of time together, and doing everything two people with feelings for each other usually do.
She told me she had feelings for me, and I believed her. Everything seemed to be going well until I found out through mutual friends that she had been sleeping with me while she was still involved with him. I also learned that as recently as two weeks ago, she may still be with him on some level. Essentially, she was starting something with me while keeping him completely in the dark about us and about this other part of her life.
I’m not hurt or angry. I’m honestly just shocked. I know the guy, at least from a distance, and since finding this out I can’t sleep, eat, or think straight. The guilt is overwhelming.
I confronted her about it, and she told me she wasn’t ready to tell him yet. Because of that, I ended things with her. Now I’m struggling with whether I should tell him myself and apologize, because she’s choosing to lie to him directly, and I don’t feel right being part of that.