My husband has been really cruel to me over the years specifically with what he says to me. There used to be good days but those good days rarely happen now. He’s starting to insult me more regularly and says extremely hurtful things.
Here’s a current example. On Christmas Eve, my partner picked a fight with me bc I couldn’t find “The Night Before Christmas” book. After weeks of telling me about how much he hates Christmas, it’s stupid, pointless etc he got extremely angry with me for this. “I can’t believe you can’t find the book. It’s the one fucking tradition I have and you ruined it.” I was shocked bc prior to this we were having a good day. I’m pretty sure he’d been drinking bc that’s when the words get worse. He then tells me, “he can’t fucking stand me, I do nothing for this family and I’m going to end up like my mom and sister. Alone and poor.” I walk away and cry myself to sleep with my 2yo in my arms.
Enter Xmas day: my son and I wake up at 6:45, he’s not up till 8, so we wait for him. When he’s ready we go into the living room and he pretends like nothings happened. “Let’s make the best of today, the past is in the past.” I’m stunned but just try to nod and go on trying to make this day special for my 2yo. There’s no apology, just silence between the two of us. All day was awkward so I just spent it playing with my son which definitely angered him. I fought tears all day. We get to the dinner part of Christmas and my husband starts crying. He’s upset about the shitty presents my in laws gave him and starts ranting again. I take my son into his room to play to avoid having to see this and he goes downstairs and shuts the spare bedroom door at 8pm and stays there all night.
I am an empath and a fixer and have been trying for months to fix our marriage. I’m in therapy bc he said I need it. We’re in marriage therapy which has proved to be pointless. The behavior has gotten worse if anything. And, it’s all my fault. I’m a “bitch to him every day. I do nothing for our family. I’m lazy. I contribute nothing to the marriage.”
My self esteem is at an all time low. I feel terrine about myself as a person and im starting to believe that he truly does hate me.
I gave up everything to marry this guy when he was seemingly a different person. I am a SAHM with zero savings living in California. I wouldn’t be able to afford living here anymore and would have to completely uproot our lives. I just want to give my child what I never got. A happy, loving home.
HELP.