It is a long post, so I am sorry in advance.
My boyfriend, Don (fake name), and I have been dating for 3 years. We've known each other for 5 years. When we got together, his oldest sister (30F), let's call her Violet, has been our biggest supporter. Violet was always explaining how to be romantic and to treat me with love and care. She was my secret Santa last christmas and got me a designer bag, which was a huge deal because my live language is gift giving and she gave me my first designer item. Violet and her husband welcomed me into their home. Because she's the oldest, the younger siblings felt more comfortable accepting me too. Knowing all that, her recent comments have left me speechless.
Don and I have recently started long distance. The day before I left the country, he put so much pressure on himself to make my last day awesome. When I got upset about something, he tried his best to comfort me. I asked him to give me 2 minutes to gather my thoughts. He does not do well with silence during a conflict and he begged me to at least walk down the street with him and I don't have to talk. For some reason, I just shut down and he became frustrated. We argued in hushed tones because we were in public until he accidentally slipped and raised his voice saying he's begging me and I dont care. I got scared of people looking at us (I am very introverted) and I called Violet to come get her brother because I didn't know what to do and he was crying. Don apologized profusely (he is still apologizing a month later even though I've mostly forgotten about it) and said he shouldn't have put so much pressure on it being a "perfect" day.
When I left, Violet told Don that maybe I'm just not right for him. Her husband even tried to talk to him but Don got mad and said that this has nothing to do with her husband. Don has held off on going to Violet's house because he doesnt like what they say about me. Apparently, she told him that I am too sensitive and I a crybaby. Which, yes, I do cry when my emotions run high. Sad, angry, happy etc. I even cried when she gave me a present because I was so happy. Violet also told him that my voice is so soft in front of them but harsh behind closed doors. He tried his best to defend me and said that I don't raise my voice at him and that my voice gets firm during disagreements. Its not just with him, I do this with anyone I am in a disagreement with because I am genuinely holding back tears of frustration.
However, I feel like it has gotten to him. I expressed my frustration about a problem I have been having for a few days and I do not know that cause so I started crying. He said that he is trying to toughen me up now because he thinks Violet is right about me crying at everything. I told him that the problem I am having is building up and to please understand that I can't even research solutions without knowing the cause. Now, we are sort of putting the discussion of me being too weak on hold. How do I even stop crying? I have tried many times because having puffy eyes is not fun for me either. Don and I agreed to work on all aspects of our relationship before we get married (in 3 years). He's an otherwise awesome person. Please feel free to ask about his amazing qualities if you need to know🤍 thank you for reading.