Hi all,
Ok so I’m trying to figure out if this is normal or not in relationships?
Last night I had sudden shoulder blade pain on my left side, which then radiated to my neck, chest and all down my left arm – my fingers and arm were tingling which has never happened before accompanied by pain. I had told my partner (31M) about my pain and he had tried to massage my arm and shoulder to see if it would help – it didn’t. So when we went to bed, the pain was still there, and he told me to call the ambulance if it got worse and then he went straight to sleep. 5 mins after that convo, the pain kept radiating through my arm and the chest pain got worse, so I called an ambulance just to be safe. I thought I was having a heart attack! I had no clue what was happening with my body.
As I was waiting for the ambulance in the living room by myself, for about 45 mins, I was heading in and out of the bedroom trying to wake up my partner (on and off) to let him know that I’ve called the ambulance and to tell him to check on our 4 month old baby and feed him if he wakes up. He did not wake up. I tried again and again, nothing – he was snoring more than our baby. When I finally managed to wake him up, about 1 hr into waiting for the ambulance – he asked if I was ok and I told him that I had called for the ambulance and that I was having chest pain and for him to feed our baby if he wakes. He nodded and said he’d feed baby if he wakes up. And then he went straight back to sleep…
This was the part that was really upsetting for me. He didn’t give any comfort – he didn’t wait up with me or really check on me, nothing. I was all alone in the living room at 1:30am waiting for an ambulance in pain and worried how I will look after my baby if I’m in hospital.
After 1.5hrs of waiting for the ambulance and at 2am, I decided to call them back and tell them to cancel as if it were a heart attack, it would’ve gotten worse and I’d probably be dead by then! The pain was still there but I sucked it up, headed back to the bedroom, checked on my baby and saw he was hungry so I made him a bottle and fed him. All the while, my partner is sprawled in the middle of the bed, snoring, and has the audacity to roll over with his back facing me as I’m feeding my baby on the bed next to him. To say the least, I was mad at him – mad at how nonchalant he was about everything. What if I was actually having a heart attack?? And he didn’t even wake up to feed baby – I had to do it myself, still in pain. I felt so alone in that moment and really questioned whether I want this relationship or not.
Have any of you had this experience before or something similar? If so, how did you handle it? And is it a normal thing or not? I understand he’s tired and he’s been working 6 day weeks and is also on antidepressants, so I thought maybe that wouldn’t help with waking up and trying to attend to me etc?