So I (M24), started dating this girl (F25). And we are so close and compatible in every kind of things, but the sexual compatibility is what stresses me, and i need advice if i am overreacting or not.
Keep in mind we are not together yet, but we both have this intention.
What i noticed on our initial dates is that we could talk about literally anything with no taboo except our own sexual life, everyone else’s or sex in general have no problem. Even I felt intimidated when we talked about it, even tho i have no shame talking about this kind of stuff even with people i barely know. Anyways i thought maybe its the tension/shyness.
So we had our first sexual encounter we were at her place, it was really nice, we had great foreplay, what i noticed tho is that she doesn’t really give verbal feedback or anything, and doesn’t initiate anything beside handjob. She told that she wants penetrative sex tho, which was a shock to me, we couldn’t have that tho because i got soft. It was no big deal we could talk it out. We didn’t talk about this night since, or whenever i brought it up she just shrugged it off.
Our next encounter was at my place, it was much better than before, foreplay was even better i guess because of less stress. I made her even finish by fingering her (apparently, because she made no sound apart from heavy breathing). She once again wanted penetration, which we could do briefly as i got soft again, i since figured it out that my condom size was the issue and also some performance anxiety.
Again, we didn’t talk about our sex encounters after. Today we had our first real sexual history talk. She told me the role of sex in her previous two relationships. In the first one she used to initiate sex often because it was a bad relationship and sex was their only real connection when she felt close to him. In her second relationship, she almost never initiated, from which they had some arguements but said that their sex life was better. She said sex does not play a big role for her in relationships, but for me i noticed these small initiations even tho they were small, like her telling me to take my shirt of or telling me that she wants me to put it in.
My main concern is that she gives little interest/talk about sex nor she gives compliments during or after sex, its like her body wants me and initiates but her mouth is silent.
I am worried that we are incomaptible sexually, what do y’all think?