I’m struggling right now, and I’m not posting this for sympathy, just honesty.
A while back, I found out my wife had opened and maxed out two credit cards behind my back. About $20,000. It led to one of the worst fights we’ve ever had. Trust was damaged, stress was through the roof, and it took real sacrifice to pay it off and try to move forward.
Now, after all of that, we just spent another $10,000 on Christmas gifts for the kids.
I love my kids more than anything. Giving them a great Christmas matters to me. But so does financial responsibility, trust, and working as a team. What hurts isn’t just the money it’s feeling like the lesson didn’t stick, like the fear and stress I carried didn’t matter.
I work hard to provide. I think about the long game… stability, savings, peace at home. When spending turns reckless, it doesn’t feel generous, it feels like I’m being ignored.
I’m angry. I’m frustrated. And I’m trying to figure out how to balance being a good husband, a good dad, and a responsible adult without feeling like the bad guy for saying “this isn’t okay.”
If you’ve been here, you know. Money fights aren’t really about money. They’re about respect, trust, and feeling like you’re carrying the weight alone.